Star
"Pregnant Angie's Secrets & Lies!"
Here is the first line of this story: "Angelina Jolie is a jealous, cunning liar who cheated on Brad with a famous rock star, schemed to lure him away from Jennifer Aniston — and even slept with her own mother's boyfriend!" These are the allegations in Andrew Morton's new book. He says she was in an L.A. mental institution in 2000, and hours after her release, she married Billy Bob Thornton. She was so obsessed with him, she threatened to kill herself if he didn't marry her. She was always asking her boyfriends if she could taste their blood. She had a "brief but steamy" affair with a guy her mom knew — who was attached and 20 years older — and she seduced him. She also seduced her mom's boyfriend after her mom had a fight with the guy, but then confessed to her mom and promised to never do it again. An insider says, "I'm told she was pregnant two or three times. She was careless and wasn't ready to be a mom." The insider adds that Angie has always felt regret about those babies she didn't have, which could be why she's determined to have a huge family. Sigh. Angie doesn't want her girls to know about her multiple boob jobs — she had them enlarged before Tomb Raider but reduced afterwards. And! Guess what? Salt will come out at the same time as The Baster. Oh, and the rock star Angelina had sex with "half a dozen" times? Blonde and female. They did it on the beach in Malibu. They were linked summer 2007 to September 2008. We can't guess who it is! Moving on: Halle Berry "bump alert." [Fig. 5] Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford are trying to adopt a little girl. Blind item: "What funnyman's career might be flagging due to his dependence on downers? After a disastrous comedy set in NYC, he admitted he's hooked on Vicodin. Deadly serious." Jennifer Aniston had the staff of the Greenwich Hotel shut down the pool area so she could go skinny dipping, which is what she does to relax. Katie Holmes has been secretly smoking: A staff member spilled the beans to Tom Cruise, who confronted her. Turns out she's been puffing on and off for a while and is afraid to quit because she'll get fat. Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate's ex-husband talked to Star and says "Michelle has kids for other people but she hardly ever sees her own son." She also has a tattoo of "the international symbol of bisexuality." Robert Pattinson went to a strip club in Vancouver and got a lap dance from a lady named Kendra, who says he was "Actually kind of shy and not a great tipper." He returned two days later, and asked for Kendra, but she wasn't working, so he left. Sean Penn and Natalie Portman are seeing each other, and their "encounter" was the reason Robin Wright wanted a divorce. Again. "Friends" are suggesting that John Travolta and Kelly Preston adopt a kid to deal with the grief of losing Jett. A "local" says of Jon & Kate Plus 8: "I heard Kate was getting way too close with her personal trainer, so Jon started cheating." Lastly: "Hollywood Prom Night" includes lots of celebs' old pictures — and old noses — and a snap of Verne Troyer, who was Homecoming King [Fig. 6].
Grade: B- (creamy peanut butter)