I assume you've already heard about Pat Robertson's genius new "Don't Shake Hands with a Gay Because He'll Probably Poke You with an AIDS Needle in His Magic Ring" theorem. If you haven't, you're welcome! Gahd, gays, what is your prahblem!? THE GOOD CHRISTIANS JUST WANT TO SHAKE HANDS WITH YOU 4 JESUS! (And to feel your rugged, moist palms pressed against theirs in the most chaste yet holy of kisses.)
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