And Now It's Time To Meet Lindsay Lohan's New Lawyer (Updated)

Yes, the man in the shiny powder blue suit (who may enjoy Lohan’s SevinNyne line) is here to save the day. His name is Stuart V. Goldberg of Chicago, and judging by his website, this is going to get interesting.

Goldberg, a criminal defense attorney, currently has four videos up on his site: Mistake, Innocence, Truth, and Justice, in which he discusses how the justice system works in a way that sounds quite a bit like those commercials wherein a lawyer, standing in front of a clearly fake wall of books, tells you that you probably have a disease you’ve never heard of before and that you can get the money you deserve now if you call right away.

“If you think being innocent will save you,” he warns in the Innocence video, “look in the mirror, and tell yourself if will all go away. But if that’s not enough…call Goldberg Criminal Defense.” In the Truth video, he says, “Look in my eyes. I know how to win,” which is something you expect to hear from your drunk buddy at the casino, but not from your lawyer, right? You should probably go watch them for yourself. They’re pretty intense, crew. I expected the Law & Order “doink-doink” to sound off when he was finished. No dice, sadly.

His bio paints him as a fairly interesting character who paid his way through law school by driving a cab and teaching elementary school to special needs children, and he’s also apparently written a “romantic, psychological thriller” titled The One and Only. He says that he believes that every accused criminal deserves “the best chance possible,” and also claims that he has “done twenty-eight jury trials within the last two years. Successfully, winning nearly every one.” Whether or not he’ll be able to help Lohan reverse her conviction is yet to be seen, but one thing is for certain: it’s going to be quite a show watching him try.

Update: Perhaps Mr. Goldberg isn’t Lohan’s new attorney after all? According to Lohan’s current NYC lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, who is dealing with Lohan’s E*Trade lawsuit, “Stuart Goldberg is not Lindsay’s new attorney. The family is still in the process of interviewing.” This doesn’t quite match up with what Goldberg’s rep had told RadarOnline: that he was, indeed, representing Lindsay in California. The photo you see above was taken last night in Beverly Hills; whether that means Goldberg is in town to actually represent Lohan or just to look like he’s representing Lohan, for whatever reason, is unknown. See? It’s already a show.

Update #2: TMZ, naturally, has tracked down Goldberg on the street in L.A., and he now says “we’re not going to say congratulations just yet,” on his being hired as Lohan’s lawyer, and that he is “here to help her…she’s in an ocean of a perfect storm, and I’m here to lift her up.”

[Stuart V. Goldberg]
Lindsay Lohan: Lawyered Up [TMZ]
Exclusive Interview: Lindsay Lohan Still On The Hunt For New Attorney [RadarOnline]
Lohan’s New Lawyer: “We’re Gonna Go After Them”