American Ninja Warrior Kacy Catanzaro Defeated By Slippery Walls

Kacy Catanzaro, the tiny American Ninja Warrior competitor who blew our minds by conquering that crazy obstacle course with her 5 foot/100 pound self, does not have arms long enough to box with God — the one that made that ANW course, anyway.

After completing most of the 2014 National Finals competition course, the jumping spider — where Catanzaro jumped from a trampoline into a space between two walls and was expected to plant her feet and hands on both sides to steady herself — defeated Catanzaro because her wingspan just isn’t long enough. Didn’t we almost have it all …