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Unnamed US officials say Pakistani officials may finally let them interview Osama Bin Laden's three wives who were in the compound with him when he died. More »
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• Stylist and sometime America's Next Top Model judge Nolé Marin has been accused of sexual misconduct by a male model, who says that Marin fondled him at two photo shoots, and offered to kick-start his career in exchange for sex.

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The wife of Al Qaeda deputy commander Ayman al-Zawahiri (pictured) has called on Muslim women to "work alongside men to defend their religion, their land, and themselves." This may be evidence that the group is low on, um, manpower. [CBS] More »
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Three grassroots women's organizations in the town of Balad Hawa were closed yesterday to prevent women from going to work. Someone "recognized" that women need to stay at home. Also banned: Movies, ringtones, dancing at weddings, playing soccer. [NY Post] More »
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Osama Bin Laden released a new tape on September 13th, explaining the 9/11 attacks and offering suggestions for how the US and Al Qaeda can work toward a solution. Problem is we've heard it all before... in 2002. [NY Times] More »
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For a campaign that has whined about sexism in the media, it ends up being awfully ironic when you read how the dudely McCain advisers chose Palin because she would look good on magazine covers or when the men in charge of the campaign try to pin Wardrobe-gate on the other visible woman in the campaign. Luckily for us (and for her), McCain aide Nicolle Wallace doesn't suffer fools lightly, or in silence. Someone else who doesn't give a shit what you want her to do is Swampland's Ana Marie Cox, who joins us from the campaign trail with wit, bacon and tales of zombies. It is almost Halloween, after all. More »
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• Remember how Sarah Palin sold the governor's plane to save money? Well, to make up for it, she insisted on using the Public Safety Department's plane (the one for police missions and search and rescue) and used to get pissy when she couldn't just use it. As it was, she accounted for 20 percent of its time. [MSNBC]
• By the way, her personal shopper is also the guy behind the Obama-Ayers robocalls she supposedly hates, and her vocal coach was expensed as a "Get Out The Vote" effort by the campaign. Is there anything she won't try to pull? [Huffington Post, Politico]
• Radar is shopping a new movie idea to help turn out Jewish voters for McCain: Woody Palin. Dick jokes welcome. [Radar]
• Speaking of dicks, McCain foreign policy hacks Jim Woolsey and Randy Scheunemann want you to believe that when al Qaeda operatives say they want McCain to win, they're trying to fool you, but when other terrorists support Obama, you should vote against terrorists. Up is the new down, people. [Washington Independent]

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With the election only 3 weeks away, Obama isn't just winning, he's whupping McCain's saggy, white ass from sea to shining sea. And while McCain and his buttboy Steve Schmidt thought it would be a good idea to go ugly — since an ugly win is still a win — voters apparently feel otherwise. Between race-baiting, terrorist-associating and generally freaking people the fuck out, some Republican voters seem actually scared that Obama will be elected. Well, Spencer Ackerman and I have some better idea of things to be scared of — and it's not just that Spencer thinks there ought to be investigations and indictments of the Bush Administration criminals, either. More »
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NPR darling and essayist Sarah Vowell was on the Daily Show last night and the Oklahoma-born Montana State grad had a bone to pick with Republicans who have been ragging on New York City. Palin et. al. pay lip service to New York's bravery in 9/11 and then call us "elite" and unpatriotic behind our backs. Underminers! "They wrap themselves in our attack and then they leave and talk about what snobs we are," Vowell complained to Jon Stewart. And then she said maybe the most awesome thing I've ever heard on the Daily Show: "If the East Coast Is American enough For Al-Qaeda, It should be American enough for them." Preach! Clip above. More »
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• The original terrorist — not the fist bumping kind — knows who he wants us to elect. Surprise! It's John McCain. [US News & World Report]
• That might be because he escaped us at least twice by going into Pakistan and because our troops weren't allowed to walk into Pakistan, and John McCain plans to continue that policy. [CBS News]
• And, like he plans to leave Pakistan alone, McCain's decided to leave Michigan alone, too. Guess they figured that they wouldn't be able to disenfranchise enough foreclosed-upon voters to eke out a win after all. [Washington Post]
• Since he's staying the course in Philly, though, voter intimidation tactics continue apace. [Philly.com]

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• Stephen Price is the senior writer for the Tallahassee Democrat (no relation to the Party) and tends to stick out just a touch when in a scrum of mostly-white political reporters. Last week at a McCain rally, he stuck out so much that a McCain staffer asked him and his legitimate press credential to leave. McCain's staff says it's because he was a state reporter, since, you know, McCain doesn't care that much about his local and state press coverage. [HuffPo, HuffPo]
• By the way, the Swift Boat guys are back and now they've got books! And mass e-mails! And virtually no credibility! [Washington Post]
• Speaking of lacking in credibility, House Republicans are claiming that their protest against House Speaker Pelosi's decision not to bring a drilling bill to the floor is lowering gas prices! [HuffPo]

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What is going on here? Is Al Qaeda really internally imploding while this guy is still in office? What did the Mormon mind control pedophiles do to warrant getting their kids back? What the fuck is Condi Rice doing with KISS? What does Peggy Noonan make of Scott McClellan? Is Scott McClellan crushing on Obama? What's a cluster bomb and why don't we ban them? What really happened with Bear Stearns? Megan and I try to answer these questions in spite of the fact we can BARELY FORM THOUGHTS amidst all this restless Carriemania, after the jump. More »
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Seventy five thousand people showed up to see Obama's biggest yet speech in Portland, Oregon yesterday. Firstly, that represents something like one-seventh the entire population of Portland and undoubtedly the biggest-ever congregation of fixed-gear bicycles. In fact, the crowd was bigger than pretty much any outdoor rock concert including Burning Man (though not including the Stones at Altamont Speedway) and it was in a city, a city we can only imagine smells kind of awful right now, if only because the coffee in Portland lends itself to really foul shits. Anyway, a friend of mine used to call Portland "White People Gone Wild." It is not such a terrible shock this crowd digs Obama. So as this woeful chapter in our nation's history concludes I can only hope the WPGW contingent will stop saying ludicrous things like the election of John McCain would be "eight more years" of Bush. To say such a thing cheapens the trauma of the World's Worst Presidency and further tries our almost thoroughly bankrupt national capacity for nuance, a capacity Obama is trying to restore. That and lots more with Megan and I, after the jump. More »
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• Oh my GOD POLITICIANS WHO UPHOLD THE RIGHT TO A BABYKILLING RECEIVED THE BODY OF CHRIST DESPITE KILLING BABIES. What is next, women who actually have submitted their wombs to this murderous murder method? The abortion doctors themselves? WHAT IF THE VIRGIN MARY HAD MADE THIS SO CALLED "CHOICE"?? No one would have believed her rape kit! [AP]

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You knew the universe was absurd. But did you know Hillary was in the White House the whole time Monica was blowing Bill? (Well, by now, probably!) Or...that the appropriate response to a cartoon defiling your favorite prophet as a bloodthirsty murderer is to plot to murder the cartoonist? That linking Mohammed to violence in a cartoon is even more worthy of violence than linking him to a Teddy Bear? (Some opiate, that religion.) Osama Bin Laden has something to say about all this, and that something is: Fuck the Pope. And, oh yeah, by the way, it's the fifth anniversary of that war everyone (and the Pope!) has been ragging on to boost his poll numbers lately, but Bin Laden doesn't mention that, or the fact that a philandering sex-addicted governor who billed his sexytime to taxpayers was just replaced by a philandering sex addict governor who billed his sexytime to campaign contributors, only this time he'd blind. So you know, the Bin Laden message probably isn't new, although, honestly, I don't know and neither does Glamocracy's Megan Carpentier, so instead we mainly discuss whether we'd buy the Eliot Spitzer Playgirl after the jump. More »
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• Hillary won the Texas primary by four percentage points but she may actually wind up tied with Obama for the delegate count. Just trust me when I say I am outraged on her behalf. [Wonkette]

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As you may have heard, a series of suicide bombings occurred in Iraq earlier today, killing at least 72 people. Planned by Al Qaeda, the attacks were "carried out" (if you can call it that) by two mentally-disabled women at two of Baghdad's pet markets... and the bombs were detonated by remote control. It's not yet known whether the women fully understood the situation they were put into, but we think it's pretty safe to say the answer is "no". [Reuters, SF Chronicle] More »
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A new "we're gonna get you" video was released yesterday, from the American-born, English-speaking blowhard Al-Qaeda spokesman Adam Gadahn. He was indicted for treason because of those "Azzam the American" videos from a few years ago and was subsequently placed on the FBI's Most Wanted List. He's also earned a spot on my vagina's Most Wanted List. (Uh, but to be fair, it's very, very long, not particularly exclusive list.) He's looking so much hotter since the Azzam days! When I first saw his new pics on the news this weekend, I was like, "Ooh, who's this cute Jew?" To which someone responded, "He's not Jewish—he's an Islamic terrorist!" But oh, how Wikipedia vindicates! Dude was born Adam Pearlman. Adam is a cross pollination of two of the "types" I find myself attracted to: Jewish men and criminals. Anyway, what do you guys think? His blood lust, indictments and probable burka preference aside, would you do him? More »
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• Winona Ryder is speaking out now about her shoplifting. Honestly? No one gives a shit. [People]

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• Tori Spelling has become a minister. Proving what we have been telling y'all for round about a week now: God is dead. [USA Today]

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