When I was eight, I wasn’t allowed to watch Titanic, because of the sex. (Also, there’s that one scene with the frozen baby.)

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But I was crafty and I wanted to see sex, so once, when it was on late-night cable TV, I locked myself in the room with the TV to watch it. I watched the sex parts, and I wasn’t scarred, except that it gave me unrealistic expectations for what sex was like. (Why can’t I have hot car sex? Car sex is hard.) I repeated this pattern with several other sex movies, including Eyes Wide Shut. I have never told anyone this before, because a woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets.