A Terrifying Bronze Lucille Ball is Coming For Us All Right Now, Run

Lucille Ball grew up in a small town in upstate New York called Celoron. In 2009, the residents of the 1,200-person town immortalized her with a statue. The statue is a physical manifestation of a recurring nightmare I’ve had where Lucille Ball comes after me with a bottle of poisonous potion in one hand and a thorny spoon in the other.

The residents of Celoron are also deeply disturbed. From New York Daily News:

“It looks like a monster,” a Celoron man championing the cause told the Daily News. “It not only does not look like Lucy, it doesn’t look human. And at nighttime it’s even scarier.”

Celoron officials who “all agreed it was ugly” have been working to fix the statue since it was erected in 2009, the man said.

Unfortunate for Celoronians, erecting another statue would cost up to $10,000 says Scott Schrecengost, the town’s mayor. But there’s some valiant community organizing happening on the ground right now.

The man, who refused to disclose his name, created a Facebook page called “We Love Lucy! Get Rid of this Statue” that picked up steam this week.

In the last few days, the page has been liked by nearly 5,000 people — more than four times the population of the small Chautauqua County village — three years after the page was created.

“Luuuuuuuuuuuucy, I’m scared.” – Collier (w/ Ricky pulsing through these veins)