-

IDEA: Kim Kardashian Should Give Literally All Her Money to CharityS

Kim Kardashian issued a deeply wounded (some might say smarmy!) public address on her blog yesterday, in which she complained about all the dastardly jerks "attacking" her "for giving 10% of my eBay auction sales to the people of the Philippines." It's not that big a deal, because she has a thick skin and she's used to it and she's totally above that kind of jealous, plebeian negativity, but when people criticize her "for giving and trying to help people," it just HURTS. You know? Also she has to pay a LOT of PayPal fees, SO.

It's worth reading the whole thing:

I feel compelled to speak about something that is in my head and my heart. Over the years, I've had to grow a thick skin. Being in the public eye, there are times I feel like I get criticized for any and everything I do. I'm used to it now. I just choose not to feed into negativity or become consumed by it.

The problem comes in when I get attacked for giving and trying to help people. My dad always taught me the importance of giving back. I don't publicize everything I do to help charities and people all over the world. I do it because I want to. I do it because my dad taught me to. I do it because it's the right thing to do. So for people to attack me for giving 10% of my eBay auction sales to the people of the Philippines, that hurts.

I do eBay auctions monthly and change the charity or church from time to time. I give 10% of all my earnings to charities, not just these eBay auctions. This month it's for the people of the Philippines, last month was Life Change Community Church.

In regards to these eBay auctions, when the eBay numbers get broken down, the auction management agency that posts for me gets a percentage for all of their hard work, then eBay listing fees, end of auction fees, eBay Store fees, Paypal fees, etc., all add up to about half of the sale. Then I give 10% to a charity.

Truth is how the # is broken down, is neither here nor there. The people of the Philippines need all of our help, no matter how big or small.

Over the last 5+ years, I have listed thousands of items on eBay Giving Works for various causes. I will continue to do what is in my heart and am happy to know many others have enjoyed purchasing from me, as they too are giving with me.

Giving comes from the heart. We all need to be reminded of this as we celebrate the holiday season this year.

The tone is gross, but Kim's not exactly a villain here. Like, what's the "correct" dollar amount that a super rich person has to give away in order to qualify as "charitable"? If Kim wants to sell her old garbage on eBay and donate 10% of the proceeds to charity, that's probably more money than I'll even MAKE in my lifetime—let alone what I can afford to give away. So, whatever, at least she's doing something. Her stuff, her money, her business.

The issue is that people aren't actually mad about Kim "giving and trying to help people" (I'm sure a lot of people have been major dicks to you, Kim, but that's a shitty deflection)—they're mad about the fact that celebrities can toss some chump change to the peasants and then demand big PR kudos. Kim doesn't need those eBay proceeds to live. If you want real philanthropist cred, you need to go big or go home.

That's why I think Kim should overcompensate in the opposite direction. She should start giving away millions at a time. Fives of millions. ALL OF THE MILLIONS! Even if she gave away every single one of her $40 million, she'd still have Kanye's $100 million to fall back on.

HEAR ME OUT.

THINK OF THE PR.

She should build hospitals! She should fund libraries! Imagine if people had to go get their hernia surgery done at KIM KARDASHIAN GENERAL. It would be fucking incredible. For that matter, I don't know why Kanye hasn't already thought of this. Like, dude, maybe you can't get a foothold in high fashion, but you could build 100 libraries and name them all Fuck You Hedi Slimane Library. And people would have to say thank you, because otherwise—what—do you hate knowledge!!?!?

I'm not saying Kim has to give more money to charity. I'm just saying, major missed opportunity here. Big mistake. Big. (Also, I really want the researchers at St. Yeezus's to cure my cancer someday.)

Image via Getty.