Justin Bieber's Monkey Is Now a Naturalized German Citizen

Hey, remember when Justin Bieber's baby monkey got seized by German customs? (NOT A EUPHEMISM, PERVS.) Well, instead of going all Not Without My Monkey-Son on the German boy-king or whatever, Bieber was just like "w-evs," and didn't even fucking bother to send in the the required vaccination and import papers to get his…

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Finally! A Disney Princess Story with More Black Death

Do you ever watch Disney movies like Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella or Brave and think to yourself "These Olde Europe-based cartoons are great and all, but I wish they would be a more accurate portrayal of the times!"? Of course you do! Luckily, musician and comedian Rachel Bloom has you covered and is ready to fill…

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OKCupid Juggalos Are Ready to Rescue You From Your Tower of Loneliness

Are you a Juggalette searching for her perfect Juggalo? Have none of the old methods of dating worked for you? Then you might want to try OKCupid Juggalos where your knight in shining Violent J makeup could be waiting to rescue you from your tower of loneliness and Faygo cans.

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