After pictures surfaced this weekend of British mogul Charles Saatchi choking his wife Nigella Lawson during what appeared to be an argument in a restaurant, the mostly well-meaning public response has ranged from "God, that's awful" to "GET A DIVORCE!" Actually, the sort of response that makes you want to take a bunch of Xanax and go back to bed, like, say "LEAVE THEM ALONE OR THEIR MARRIAGE WILL BE RUINED!!!1" — has been refreshingly absent. Until now!
Oof: Nobody's buying the new book written by Christine Quinn, the would-be mayor of New York City. With Patience and Fortitude (in which she discusses her eating disorder) only sold 100 copies in the first week. [Insert joke here about her waiting "with patience and fortitude" for sales to pick up.]
Surprise, Surprise: The HPV Vaccine Works Wonders
The pervasiveness of cancer-causing strands of the human papillomavirus (HPV) has dropped by half among teenage girls in the last decade, thanks to the vaccine that was just introduced in 2006. Additionally: kindly fuck off, Michele Bachmann
Male Spiders Spontaneously Die After Sex Because MISANDRY
We've known for a while now that lady spiders are the animal kingdom's OG misandrists. Lady spiders hit it and quit it like it's their job (which it is, I guess—it's not like they mate, chew on bugs, and work 9-5 at the bail bonds office), and when they "quit it" they also preemptively quit it on behalf of every other…
Jenn Allen Not Backing Down on Michael Arrington Rape Claims
Newly filed court documents show Jennifer Allen won't recant: her attorneys say she's sticking with her story
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Kristine Gutierrez visits the newsstand and picks up the hot-off-the-press issues of Ok!, In Touch, Life & Style, Us and Star, where we search for juicy fruits of gossip. This week: Gwyneth is going to set Taylor Swift up with some Brit blokes; Kanye was amazing/horrible in the delivery room when Kim had the baby; and Kim didn't get the blingy push present she was hoping for.
Catholic Church Rules Gay Men Can Get Married -- to Lesbians
In a move that should surprise only those being cryogenically unfrozen after decades in suspended animation, the Catholic Church is officially okay with gay dudes marrying women and leading frustrating, unfulfilling lives of unpleasant sex. Their reasoning? When a penis and vagina — sorry, man and woman — get…
