I realize you're probably stressed about everything in your life — and here's one more fun thing to worry yourself ugly about: When you're stressed, you're less attractive to men. I know, it's all so stressful.

Here is a video of Asean Johnson, an unfathomably eloquent 9-year-old, giving a speech in protest of Mayor Rahm Emanuel's plan to close 53 public schools in Chicago. It begins with him climbing on top of a chair to reach the podium and ends with me covertly crying at my desk.

Apparently these are David Yurman rock crystal and diamond earrings.

Um. Former All-Star outfielder/current Twitter maniac Jose Canseco was just accused of rape. We know this because he publicly named a woman he claims is his accuser to his more than 500,000 followers, followed by photos of her, her phone number, and an address of a gym where she works out.

What magic is this?? All I know for sure is that this guy is certainly handling the seasons of his life.

Memorial day is almost upon us, which means it's time for a new swimsuit.

The apparel company behind Lindsay Lohan's ill-fated leggings line, 6126, is suing the actress. Their argument? That Lindsay Lohan's public association with the brand made the brand seem like something a bad Elizabeth Taylor impersonator would wear to get Starbucks.

It's contraception game time: puritanical fairytale "morals" will go up against the Obamacare birth control mandate over the next few weeks as four different appeals courts decide whether private businesses should be able to object to the policy on the grounds of religious freedom/thinking unchained vaginas are icky.…

"Just to convict people because you're jealous of them is retarded," an angry, slurring Joe Francis says in an absolutely riveting rant in which he goes off on the jury who convicted him earlier this month for falsely imprisoning three women in his Bel-Air home, but also brags about his dick size, wealth, and…