Hey, Idiots: Shutting Down Clinics Doesn't Make Abortion Go Away

It's been just over a year since Texas passed hideously severe (and not medically necessary) restrictions on abortion providers. In that time, over half of the clinics in the state have been forced to stop offering abortion services — however, the rate of abortion procedures in the state has only dropped 13 percent.… » 7/30/14 6:20pm 6 minutes ago

Keith Urban Fans Watch as Man Rapes 17-Year-Old At Outdoor Concert

Over the weekend, a 17-year-old girl attending a rowdy Keith Urban concert outside of Boston broke away from her friends with a man she'd just met. Minutes later, the man was sexually assaulting her out in the open as more than a dozen passersby watched, with some even taking cell phone videos. » 7/30/14 5:40pm 46 minutes ago

App Debt: How Kim Kardashian and Uber Will Bankrupt Us All

Kim Kardashian: Hollywood, the celebrity role-playing game from the Seinfeld of reality stars, is currently the fifth most popular free iPhone app on Apple's charts. It's also the fifth-highest grossing. One analyst predicted revenue of $200 million this year. But how many of the fame gamers that put it there have any… » 7/30/14 5:17pm Today 5:17pm

Sexist Douche Pastor Mark Driscoll Believes Our Nation Is 'Pussified'

You might remember swaggering, misogynist evangedouche/human Affliction tee Mark Driscoll from being terrible on Glenn Beck, being terrible on Fox and Friends, or being terrible any time he does anything ever, which is all the time. But he's really ramped up the action in the last month or so! It seems like dude can't… » 7/30/14 5:00pm Today 5:00pm

Katy Perry Misses the Point on Cultural Appropriation Criticism

In her latest Rolling Stone feature, Katy Perry addresses the accusations of cultural appropriation that have followed her throughout her career. Based on her response, it's clearly something she's thought about quite critically: "I guess I'll just stick to baseball and hot dogs, and that's it," she says. Oh, boy. » 7/30/14 4:40pm Today 4:40pm

Another Mom Is Arrested for Letting Her Kid Go to the Park Alone

Fifteen days ago, we heard about South Carolina mom Debra Harrell, who was arrested when her 9-year-old daughter was found playing in a park alone. On Wednesday morning, the Today show aired the story of Florida resident Nicole Gainey, who was arrested when her 7-year-old son was spotted walking to a park by himself. » 7/30/14 4:20pm Today 4:20pm

Man Seeks Girls To Host Fantasy Football Draft, Possibly While Topless

The cool bro you see above is, according to this Craigslist post, looking for two girls to host his upcoming fantasy football draft. All he needs is a couple of girls to run the draft board, serve the fellas some drinks, and, you know, wear a bikini or some sexy lingerie and maybe even pop those tops off—I mean,… » 7/30/14 4:13pm Today 4:13pm

This Week in Tabloids: Normals Who Dated A-Listers Spill Sex Secrets

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Callie Beusman heads to the newsstand and picks up the latest issues of Ok!, Star, In Touch, Life & Style and Us so that together we may worship at the altar of Tabloid. This week: Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello continue to be hotter than the hinges of Hell; Jen Garner is… » 7/30/14 3:50pm Today 3:50pm

​Selfie Spinoffs Are Getting Out of Hand: Behold the 'Usie'

It's been about eight months since selfie officially gained status as the 2013 Oxford Dictionary Word of the Year, and the selfie game is stronger than ever. I suppose we will never lose interest in gazing into ourselves at arm's length and then submitting that image to friends and strangers on the internet. But now… » 7/30/14 3:10pm Today 3:10pm

Men Like Women Best When They Listen Listen Listen

According to new research that confirms that many men are actually less well-muscled versions of Disney's Gaston, men find women most sexually attractive when we're listening to them talk. Coincidentally, those findings were released during the same week that one prominent female blogger publicly urged people to stop… » 7/30/14 2:30pm Today 2:30pm

Every Single Time Samuel L. Jackson Has Said 'Motherfucker' on Film

Everyone knows Samuel L. Jackson loves to say "motherfucker" in his films. It's a beautiful, glorious word when it rolls off his tongue. Jackson saying "motherfucker" is like Laurence Olivier reciting lines from Hamlet. It's like the sound of unicorns tickling puppies and then calling them "motherfuckers." » 7/30/14 1:20pm Today 1:20pm

Friendship Means Saving Your Bestie From Herself

It's National Friendship Day, and, really, is there a more important holiday? If life is a cheesy 80's movie, friends are the weed edibles that make it watchable. Without amigos, who would stop us from getting baby bangs? Your friends constantly save you from the horrorshow that is your life, and it's time to repay… » 7/30/14 12:00pm Today 12:00pm