Sorry, Lactation Mafia: Neanderthals Breastfed for Only About a Year

A study of the barium levels in a Neanderthal child's fossilized molar suggests that the child had been breastfed exclusively for seven months, and completely weaned by 14 months—way earlier than the attachment-parented kids in last year's Time cover story.

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Kids Finally Learn to Put a Bag on It, and Teen Birth Rates Drop

Following trends from the past several years, a report released Thursday by the Center for Disease Control indicates that all those crazy anti-teen pregnancy ads might be working, because the rate of teen pregnancy dropped 25 percent between 2007 and 2011. In case you'd like to go visit those teenagers and give them a …

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Check Out Obama's Adorable Prom Pic

After last week's hellish scandal week, President Barack Obama could use a little PR break. What's this? Photos of a young Barry at his prom have unearthed and Michelle was not his date? Is that infidelity? Does this mean impeachment? IS HE WEARING MARIJUANA AROUND HIS NECK? Nope, this photo is just sweet and…

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Hello Kitty Has Improbably Kept a Factory in Syria Open

Cartoon characters can perform lots of physics-defying sight gags. Sometimes, they can even cross over from Toon Town into the real-person world and cause portly private detectives no end of trouble. Or help Michael Jordan save Earth from aliens. Or scoop out large chunks of a child’s brain with all the practiced…

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Finally, a Body Scrub That Doubles as Pretzel Dip

Haven’t you always wanted a body scrub that would wash away your belly button filth and make a serviceable dip for your pretzel sticks? Because that’s the direction the odiferous beauty industry is sloshing in right now — edible lotions, salves, oils, and scrubs that you can use to get into a guilt-free 9 ½ Weeks…

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Congress May Soon Let Us Bring Dogs on Special Squee Trains

Good news, lovers of furry domestic mammals! The House of Representatives introduced legislation on Tuesday that would require Amtrak (the government-subsidized rail system that brings so much joy to so many commuters along the Northeastern corridor) to let passengers bring their dogs or cats on specially-designated…

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Samsung Introduces You to the Perfect Husband/Domestic Servant

An ad for Samsung’s wide world of evolved televisions featuring a dimwitted couch-bound husband transformed into a domestic servant marionette has drawn cries (mostly from MRAs on Reddit, but also now from Fox News) of sexism. Probably a fair critique, although Adweek’s David Gianatasio doesn’t think the outrage is

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Supervillain Tim Gunn Enjoys Espresso While Plotting World Domination

NEW YORK, NY - MAY 22: Coffee lover and apparent supervillain Tim Gunn shares his savvy and sophisticated tips for entertaining with Nespresso this summer on May 22, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Nespresso)

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Illinois Makes Birth Control Information in Sex Ed Classes Mandatory

While many of America's classrooms remain criminally regressive when it comes to their sexual education policies, today Illinois has helped put a kibosh on some of that bullshit by stepping slightly into the 21st Century.

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