Lily Allen Challenges Every Female Pop Star to World's Lamest Fight

Lily Allen has released the video from her song "Sheezus" from her new album "Sheezus" and it's... not very good. What's going on with women who released catchy pop songs in the mid-2000's this week? Did they all get together in their secret bunker and collectively decide to release all their bad stuff at once? » 4/23/14 6:30pm 2 minutes ago

Did Tori Spelling Fake a Cheating Scandal to Land a New Reality Show?

Tori Spelling's new reality show True Tori is supposed to document—practically in real time—her marital problems with estranged husband Dean McDermott, who checked into rehab after it was reported in Us Weekly that he cheated on her. But the entire first episode rang so incredibly false that many are now questioning… » 4/23/14 5:20pm Today 5:20pm

Conservatives Call Justice Sotomayor 'Illiterate' and 'Emotional'

Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor disagreed so strongly with the Court's affirmative action-blasting decision yesterday that she broke from standard procedure and read a large portion of her dissent (which I'm legally required to refer to as "scathing") from the bench. Conservatives responded to her response by… » 4/23/14 5:00pm Today 5:00pm

Everything You Need to Know About Selling Your Panties on the Internet

Ladies. Did you know that there is an inexhaustible resource that is manufactured naturally right in your home, at no cost to you, for which men would be willing to pay you tons and tons of cold hard money-dollars today? It's true! It's called CROTCH GUNK. And you are literally flushing money down the drain every time… » 4/23/14 4:25pm Today 4:25pm

This Week in Tabloids: Battle of the Celebrity Engagement Rings

Welcome back, friends. As always, Callie Beusman hitched a ride to the newsstand to pick up the latest issues of In Touch, Ok!, Star, Us, and Life & Style, so that together we can "read" them and you don't "have" to. This week: Prince George is a cover baby; Katy Perry is hooking up with Jared Leto, Diplo and Robert… » 4/23/14 3:10pm Today 3:10pm

Guy Fieri’s New Restaurant Menu, Item by Insane Item

It takes a truly special human being to combine pretension and douchebro-ed-ness into something that, when you take a step back, starts to look like elaborate, brilliant performance art. Guy Fieri is that human, except that nothing he does is intended as satire. » 4/23/14 1:37pm Today 1:37pm

More Women Are Chopping Off Parts of Their Feet to Fit in Heels

When most of us try on shoes that are uncomfortable, we're left with two options: buy them anyway and suffer through the pain or leave the shoes behind. But the wealthy aren't limited to these plebeian choices like we are. They have a third, fancier and more gruesome option — they can pay doctors to cut off parts of… » 4/23/14 1:00pm Today 1:00pm

Top of the Lake: Feminist Masterpiece or Revenge-Fantasy Reimagined?

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When a certain detective drama became a water cooler hit earlier this year, it didn't take long before people noticed its glaring lack of three-dimensional women. The girl-in-a-bodybag trope has been around for as long as detective genre itself, but it's only recently that viewers have begun to object to the cliché. » 4/23/14 12:00pm Today 12:00pm

Be a Phone Psychic or Get Paid to Have Brunch -- The Choice is Yours

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Are you sick of catering to the capricious whims of your horrible boss? Ready to throw in the towel on your high-octane career as a newspaper reporter — a job which, according to The Wall Street Journal, replaced lumberjack as the world's worst in 2013? Or are you just finally down to the dregs of that twelve-thousand… » 4/23/14 12:00pm Today 12:00pm