"A Stark in the streets and a wildling in the sheets" is the new "I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love."
Mansplained: Don't Have a Preventative Mastectomy Just 'Cuz Angie Did
Ladies and their favorite celebrities, amiright? If Connie Britton jumped off a bridge, wouldn't you? If Cate Blanchett ran down Seventh Avenue in a duck suit yelling about the End of Days, hand me my beak!
In a move worthy of Charlie Kaufman, Doug Hutchison's newly non-child bride Courtney Stodden took a break from living in a sex tape just long enough to actually film a sex tape. Meta! It is a solo tape, filmed shortly after her 18th birthday, and, SORRY, it is totally private until she decides to sell it for more money than your parents' house.
Adam Sandler Says His Maid Rubbed Poison Ivy All Over Him
Okay, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS STORY. Adam Sandler went on Jay Leno last night and told a heeeee-larious story about how for two months straight he kept waking up covered in itchy lesions, so he set up a security camera in his bedroom and caught the housekeeper sneaking in and rubbing poison ivy all over his entire body…
Donald Trump Tries to Understand Youths, Lil Jon
In today's edition of Tweet Beat, tries to wrap his toupée-topped head around the enigma of Lil Jon (probably for money), Anthony Bourdain reflects on his Boy Scouts experience, and Flea may or may not have cried into his cereal this morning.
Beyoncé's Pregnant: The Five Things You'll Hear for the Next 9 Months
The British have Kate Middleton, but across the pond, we've got Beyoncé. The Queen of America is with child, and it is time to succumb to the wildest rumors that will undoubtedly consume our thoughts until Bey's second baby is birthed. Did Beyoncé go to Cuba to become impregnated with Fidel Castro's child? Is this…
Berlusconi's Hired Stripper Wore Obama Mask at His 'Bunga Bunga' Parties
Ever since former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Burlusconi's sex parties came under investigation in 2011, I've spent many a-morning pondering the meaning of the term given to the raunchy late night escapades of the premier, "bunga bunga" parties. Initially, I thought it was a sound appropriated from Gullah Gullah…
