Fantasy Kardashian-Jenner League Rankings: High Stakes in Week 1

This is it, people: the first week of Jezebel’s annual Fantasy Kardashian-Jenner League. It’s been a burning hot seven days for some of the crew, with Paris Fashion Week pulling in Kardashians like moths to a pleasantly scented flame, and a little chillier for others—key players are still benched due to injury,… »10/06/15 6:00pm49 minutes ago

Inspiring Political Hats For A Newly Great America

Thanks to the internet, civilians are able to make tools to facilitate civilians’ participation in government. Several weeks ago, we were blessed with the ability to draw with Melting Businessman Donald Trump’s face. On Monday, the Washington Post’s digital toy makers designed a little widget with which we can all… »10/06/15 5:42pmToday 5:42pm

I Need Cara Delevingne And Annie Clark To Stay Together Forever, OK?!

My friends, today I stumbled across a nugget of extremely distressing gossip. The New York Post surmises, from a collection of photographs, that model and Swifty Squad member Cara Delevingne abandoned her lover Annie Clark—otherwise known as ethereal songstress St. Vincent—at Monday’s Chanel show in Paris, departing… »10/06/15 5:20pmToday 5:20pm

Toot Toot! All Aboard the Crazy Train! Congress Has Big Plans for Planned Parenthood

All aboard the Unbelievable Waste of Time Express as it departs the station for an indeterminate, never-to-be-reached destination: the House is preparing a resolution to convene a special subcommittee to “investigate” Planned Parenthood. They’ll be in there however long it takes, which will be forever. »10/06/15 4:45pmToday 4:45pm

Marco Rubio Responds to Trump Prank, Meanwhile We Are One Day Closer to Being Eaten By Bugs

Wow, Donald Trump is really solidifying his role in the Republican presidential race as the class clown that everyone wishes would be quiet and let the class learn. But also you know he’s going to get into whatever school he wants to go to because his parents donated an athletic center or something. »10/06/15 3:48pmToday 3:48pm

A Southern-Fried Sleepover at New York’s First Chick-Fil-A, Or How I Won a Year’s Supply of Chicken

Winning enough Chick-fil-A® chicken sandwiches, iced tea, and medium Classic Sides to fill a man’s grave is easy. All you have to do is line up on the sidewalk for three hours with 300 people while the lead-colored sky bleeds into black night; while stinging rain, flung down from heaven by an angry God and then up,… »10/06/15 3:41pmToday 3:41pm

Which 'Famous' Studio Executive Asked Ashley Judd to Watch Him Shower In the 90s?

Showering. We all do it! Well, some of us take baths, and some of us don’t wash at all, but I guess most of us do! Some of us even like to shower with others, despite the fact that it’s a clunky, dangerous, and shiver-inducing activity. But there are some of us—many of whom have big offices in Los Angeles—who only… »10/06/15 2:40pmToday 2:40pm

Critics Say Breast Cancer Care Packages May Have Makeup with Potentially Cancer-Causing Chemicals

We’re facing another long month of Breast Cancer Awareness ™, in which companies show their sensitivity to the cause of breast health by peddling pink junk which, in some causes, has ingredients linked to breast cancer, or that haven’t been extensively tested for safety. This year, according to the advocacy group… »10/06/15 2:27pmToday 2:27pm

Judge Rules Your Right to a Swinging Sex Party Is Not Guaranteed By The Constitution

If you were planning on hosting a swingers’ party anytime soon, be warned of an important new development: a federal judge has just ruled that unless swingers’ parties advocate for a certain lifestyle or feature a performance element, they’re not protected by the first amendment. And if you’re throwing the party,… »10/06/15 2:05pmToday 2:05pm

Today's Best Deals: Fancy Pants, Rechargeable Batteries, and More

Here are the best of today’s deals. Get every great deal every day on Kinja Deals, follow us on Facebook and Twitter to never miss a deal, join us on Kinja Gear to read about great products, and on Kinja Co-Op to help us find the best. »10/06/15 1:15pmToday 1:15pm