Wan Erection: A Tribute to the Best Zayn Malik Fanfic on the Net

It's been a tough week for One Direction fans. And now that the weekend is drawing near, promising a full two days of grieving without any annoying interruptions like insensitive teachers or parents who just don't get it. Since the only way you'll ever see the boys together again is in your imagination, we've… » 3/27/15 2:10pm 7 minutes ago

Last of the Great Teen Lovers Arrested for Stealing Discount Vibrator

Picture this: You're 18, you're in love and you're also, inexplicably, in a Spencer's. The object of your affection, the only person who has ever and will ever matter, lifts up a box featuring a $13 vibe and says "I need this. I need this." You want to give her everything she wants. Hell, you'd pull down the moon for… » 3/27/15 12:50pm Today 12:50pm

India Fashion Week: Natty Nurses, French-Style Kurtas, & Femme Fatales

One fashion week ends, another begins—what editors know as "fashion month" is actually a misnomer reserved for Western cities (New York, London, Paris, Milan)—but include the entire world and it's essentially fashion year. With the conclusion of fashion weeks in Tokyo and Mumbai, New Delhi's India Fashion Week began… » 3/27/15 12:30pm Today 12:30pm

Man Forced to Sell His New House Because Comcast Lied to Him

A software engineer living in Washington state may have no choice but to sell the home he bought last December because, despite repeatedly checking with Comcast before he even considered buying the property, the company just can't (or won't) give him internet service. » 3/27/15 11:55am Today 11:55am

Did Katie Holmes Have a Secret Entrance to Whole Foods in Chelsea?

In the summer of 2012, shortly after she filed divorce papers to dissolve her marriage to Tom Cruise, the actress Katie Holmes moved into a Manhattan apartment building called the Chelsea Mercantile. The prewar building has 354 units, a private garage, and, on the street level, a Whole Foods Market, where Holmes… » 3/27/15 10:59am Today 10:59am

Did This 29-Year-Old California Woman Fake Her Own Abduction or What?

Here's a strange story out of California: in the early afternoon on Monday of this week, 30-year-old Vallejo resident Aaron Quinn called the police, saying that his girlfriend, 29-year-old Denise Huskins, had been kidnapped from his house that morning and was being held for ransom. Huskins' father spoke to the local… » 3/27/15 10:10am Today 10:10am

Hobby Lobby Made Indiana's Religious Discrimination Bill Possible

Yesterday, Indiana Governor Mike Pence signed SB 101 into law, a "religious freedom" bill that will allow business owners in the state to discriminate against whoever they please. A dozen other states are considering similar measures, but in the meantime, let's consider how we got here: the Supreme Court's terrible… » 3/27/15 9:50am Today 9:50am

Victoria's Big Fuckin' Secret: Your Returned Underwear Gets Shredded

I purchased pairs on pairs on pairs of Victoria's Secret panties when I was young and knew nothing about my body or comfort. All of them pierced deep into the flesh of my hips and lower belly, and sagged in the ass. Deeply painful memories. What I didn't know then (besides what decent underwear could look and feel… » 3/27/15 9:30am Today 9:30am