Scientists Report You Might Live Longer if You Drink Wine With Dinner

In Reasons Rebecca Rose is Probably Unkillable By Conventional Means, scientists have found that a regular glass of either red or white wine with dinner can help you live longer by staving off heart disease. Hold up, though, there are caveats I couldn't fit in the headline. » 9/02/14 9:04pm 18 minutes ago

Nick Carter, Jordan Knight Rehash Pop Highs With New Cheesy Lyrics

Today in Why Is This A Thing, Jordan Knight and Nick Carter have a duet album called Nick and Knight, out on Tuesday. Your head will also probably explode once this thing hits store shelves because that’s what happens when Boy Band members from two different generations clash in the name of self promotion. » 9/02/14 8:30pm 52 minutes ago

Nicki Minaj's Dancer Describes Being Chomped by a Snake at the VMAs

Genise Ruidiaz, a contortionist and dancer, was slated to perform in Nicki Minaj's "Anaconda" routine at the VMAs while holding a live boa constrictor. The snake idea was scrapped before the live show, however, because it BIT RUIDIAZ DURING REHEARSAL WITH ITS BIG SNAKE MOUTH. And then the replacement snake bit a… » 9/02/14 8:10pm Today 8:10pm

Julia Allison's marriage to herself has taken place, and with it comes details of the ceremony: Allison writes on Facebook that she "greatly appreciated the naked man who looked like Jesus dancing like a crazy person to 'Don't Stop Believing' played at the reception. It was an 'Only at Burning Man' moment." She also… » 9/02/14 6:10pm Today 6:10pm

Manboys Throw Tantrum Over Having Their Celebrity Nudes Taken Away

"I don't really know why it's such a big deal. Jennifer's breasts are great! Why is she so upset?" This was a snippet of the conversation I heard between two high school-aged boys on the bus this morning. They were discussing the nude leak that took place earlier this week and they were angry that they no longer had… » 9/02/14 5:50pm Today 5:50pm

Europe's First Drive-Thru Brothel Apparently Working Out Great In Zürich

After one year of experimental operation, social services in Switzerland are calling the "sex drive-in" in Zürich "a success." They're saying it's allowed for better regulation of prostitution which in turn has made the situation safer for people on both ends of sexual transactions. » 9/02/14 5:49pm Today 5:49pm

Majestic Capybara Debased By Adorable Puppies Crawling All Over Him

JoeJoe the capybara, an internet celebrity who often gallivants through life in stylish costumes, has finally had it. He'll do a lot for stardom, but you can see in the look in his squinty little eyes that having puppies use him as some kind of play structure wasn't in his contract. He will burn down everything those… » 9/02/14 5:10pm Today 5:10pm

Texas Cops 'Swarm' School, Pray Over 'Possible Fetus' Found in Bathroom

Dallas police reportedly "swarmed" a high school after a "possible fetus" was found in the bathroom, and announced that they were treating the girl who apparently miscarried and then "abandoned" the fetus as a "suspect." They were also praying for her, said Dallas Police Major John Lawton. Well, isn't that nice. » 9/02/14 4:30pm Today 4:30pm

Columbia Student Will Carry Her Mattress Until Her Rapist Exits School

Columbia University senior Emma Sulkowicz (whom we have written about before) has taken her experience attending college with her rapist and turned it into her senior thesis project. "It's endurance performance art piece," Sulkowicz told the Columbia Daily Spectator about the endeavor, for which she will carry her… » 9/02/14 3:50pm Today 3:50pm

Sit Back, Tell Us How Special You Are, and Win a Prize

While the drive to take quizzes and fill out surveys online is technically not included on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, it's nevertheless up there with eating, sleeping, and sex in terms of unstoppable human urges. When given the opportunity to reflect on your own special self by ticking off boxes— introvert or… » 9/02/14 12:00pm Today 12:00pm