This Week in Tabloids: Miley in Danger of Drug-Induced Heart Attack

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Callie Beusman and I try to snuggle up to tabloid gossip, using the silky sheets from the new issues of Ok!, In Touch, Life & Style, Us, and Star. This week: One cover features a sonogram "dramatization" to "prove" that Angelina Jolie is knocked up; Tori Spelling offers TMI; and… » 4/16/14 3:20pm 26 minutes ago

I Can't Stop Watching This Super-Intense Mexican Soap Opera Clip

This clip from the telenovela María la del Barrio is four minutes of extreme hysteria in which a teenage girl in a wheelchair gets kissed on the cheek, setting a woman off on a violent, murderous rampage. You don't need to know Spanish to understand that this lady is probably the best actress in the entire world. » 4/16/14 3:00pm 46 minutes ago

Watch Elizabeth Banks Take a Walk of Shame in a Bandage Dress

Sometimes it feels like they're writing these movie titles specifically for the headlines of blog posts. In Walk of Shame, Elizabeth Banks plays an uptight "good girl" newscaster named Meghan Miles who finds out she's been turned down for her dream job and decides to blow off some steam by fucking James Marsden. » 4/16/14 2:20pm Today 2:20pm

Candy Bars, Ranked

If I learned two things when I ranked Little Debbie Snack Foods, they were that a) there's a lot of humor to be mined from the American junk food industry, and b) absolutely no one on the face of the Earth agrees with me about anything. Clearly, I haven't learned the second lesson, because this week we're throwing down … » 4/16/14 1:59pm Today 1:59pm

Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell Take Credit for Sloths' Popularity

In an interview with Ellen Degeneres Tuesday, Dax Shepard said that the sloth he got to surprise his now-wife Kristen Bell — and prompted Bell's legendary meltdown — for her 31st birthday "started a sloth industry," implying that before he and Kristen were into sloths, sloths were hardly the animal darlings they are now. » 4/16/14 12:20pm Today 12:20pm

Kathleen Sebelius Might Be Running For Senator in Kansas

When Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius resigned last week, it was seen as an inevitable attempt by the Obama Administration to blame someone for their embarrassingly "botched" roll-out of the Affordable Care Act's healthcare.gov. But Sebelius isn't done yet: she could be considering a run for… » 4/16/14 11:40am Today 11:40am

US Airways Won't Be Firing Anyone Over Airplane Vagina Tweet

After the Tweet That Launched A Thousand Vaginal Airplane Puns, UterUS Airways has concluded that the airline's tweet of a woman with a toy plane in her vagina (link very NSFW) was an error made by an employee who was just trying to report someone else for posting the vagina airplane picture. It was an honest mistake.… » 4/16/14 11:00am Today 11:00am

Captain Underpants Gets More Calls for Censorship Than Fifty Shades

The ALA revealed its top five most challenged books of 2013 and, somewhat surprisingly, lines like "suck me, baby" and "my inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves" weren't enough to nab "mommy porn" staple Fifty Shades of Grey the #1 spot. Instead, Anastasia and Christian are languishing down at #4… » 4/16/14 10:00am Today 10:00am

Salem Witch Trials: Misogynist Fiction, Or are There Witches Among Us?

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The Salem witch trials epitomize the way that intolerance, hysteria and the miscarriage of justice can be taken to deadly extremes. Though the trials can now clearly be attributed to ye olde fashioned misogyny, there's no denying that, in addition to puritanical patriarchy, some of the prevalent beliefs at the time… » 4/15/14 4:00pm Yesterday 4:00pm

Girls to the Front! The Punk Singer and How Riot Grrrl Changes Lives

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The first time I heard musician and Riot Grrrl pioneer Kathleen Hanna sing, "We want revolution…girl-style noooowwww," I was 16 years old, living deep in the suburbs listening to the Bikini Kill cassette a friend's younger sister had dubbed for me. The year was 1993, and the sound of that band cracked my world wide… » 4/16/14 12:00pm Today 12:00pm