Sigh. Amanda Bynes' repeated insistence on only using her (technically crappy; see above) Twitter selfies comes from a dark place, it looks like. I know: You're totally shocked.
Shortly after Bynes insisted that she was being impersonated in paparazzi snaps on the streets of New York, she's informed Twitter that she has an eating disorder and that's why she only wants the press to use her Twitter shots.
Haaaa, wait, this is fucked. I feel dirty. [D Listed]
While Kristen Stewart is allegedly embracing a new "fun, lighthearted" attitude for the sake of her relationship with Robert Pattinson, she may revert back to Level 5 mopedom after R-Patz's softcore Dior commercials hit the air, says a source who is almost certainly neither animal nor mineral. (I choose to believe that all sources are bored ghosts.)
K-Stew will be "livid," says the ghost, when she sees Rob shirtless and simulating a foursome with a bunch of models. Later, it continues, "Rob and [a model] are in a swimming pool making out and he's seen giving her a blow back with a cigarette at one stage, too." BREAK UP ALREADY. FUCK. [Life and Style Mag, Hollywood Life]
Gwyneth "I'm Just Like You Except For My Holistic Acupuncture Sessions With Diamond-Tipped Needles Made of Elvish Silver" Paltrow is a "bad mutha," according to Gwyneth Paltrow. Not, like "mother." Just like, "mutha." You know. The flavorful way!
Chris Martin, on the other hand, is not a bad mutha because he needs to cook to silence.
"He can't have background music on: it has to be 100 per cent of his attention. But if he isn't at home, I turn on the hip-hop - I'm like a bad mutha rapping along to every word as I cook.
I feel like the ratio of how much I write about Elton John is really disproportionate to how much you actually care about Elton John, but anyway, tally-ho! Blur included a song called "Elton John's Cock" on their box-set Blur 21 and it confused Elton John's actual cock, says Blur's bassist Alex James:
"I bumped into Sir Elton and he said, 'What's all this I hear about you and my c**k?' I didn't know him well enough to tell him the proper answer."
The 43-year-old musician claimed the track was given the name because it was ''too sentimental''.
He added to the Daily Star newspaper: "We wrote this song but realised it was too sentimental. One of us muttered, 'That's Elton John's cock.'"
- Paris Jackson has re-acquainted herself with her birth mom Debbie Rowe. [TMZ]
- Meanwhile, Paris's brother Prince is dating a (literal) Kuwaiti princess. [TMZ]
- RIP, Gucci, the Lohan family maltese. [NYDN]
- Lindsay Lohan's friend, hotel magnate Vikram Chatwal, was arrested for smuggling a smorgasbord of pills, plus heroin, ketamine and weed, in the crotch of his pants. [NYDN]
- During breaks between filming Mad Men seasons, Christina Hendricks worked as a florist for shits and giggles and the love of flowers. [My Fashion Life]
- Macklemore and the cast of Pitch Perfect will perform at this year's MTV Awards. [MTV]
- Does Conan O'Brien have sort of a six pack?! [Us Weekly]
- Ryan Murphy's launching a new show called Open, to be co-written with a Dexter producer: "a modern, provocative exploration of human sexuality and relationships." [Deadline]
- Kate Middleton's friends keep texting her baby name suggestions. (She has her own "short list.") [Us Weekly]
- "I joke that I've been on a diet since 1974, and it's basically true." —Kim Cattrall. [Express]
- Roger Ebert's wife Chaz says that he smiled shortly before passing away. [People]
- When One Direction hangs out during down-time, they play Boggle and watch One Day. [TVNZ]
- Apparently Mike Tyson cameos in a 50 Shades of Grey spoof in Scary Movie 5. [Page Six]
- Warren Beatty = still a flirt. Wouldn't have it any other way. [Page Six]
- Lil Wayne stepped out for the first time since his hospitalization for seizures. [People]
- Bey and Jay are celebrating their fifth anniversary in Havana with their MOMS. [People]