Kidnapped Girl Rescued by Her Magical Lion FriendsS

I have no idea if this is true or not, but we're gonna act like it's true because HOLY SHIT ANIMALS ARE MAGIC.

In 2005, seven men kidnapped a 12-year-old girl in the Ethiopian city of Bita Genet with the intentions of forcing her to marry one of them. However, that was not to be, as several days later she was found being protected by three MOTHERFUCKING LIONS SON. Not only did the lions guard her, they also allegedly chased off her captors. Lions <3.

According to Grist:

The girl was reportedly abducted by the seven men with the idea that she would be forced into marrying one of the them. According to the United Nations, about 70 percent of the marriages taking place in Ethiopia are the result of similar kidnappings. And nearly 100 percent of those abduction-marriages are not thwarted by kindly wildlife.

There's some speculation that the lions might've mistaken the girl's small stature and cries as those of a cub they needed to protect, but lions aren't dumb — perhaps they just recognized her as someone to protect, period. Or maybe we're anthropomorphizing like mad, and this was just some freak incident. Honestly, who cares, the moral of the story is that lions rule, and humans drool.

One thing's for sure, somewhere in Hollywood, several screenwriters are already writing a script based on this story. (If that's you, I'd like to come to the premiere.) (Also, I'd like to meet a lion.)

[Grist]

Shutterstock/Tatiana Morozova