It has been said (no it hasn't) that modern man's greatest plight is agreeing on a good song to "Bump N' Grind" to. For every girl who loves to set the mood to Bon Iver, there's a whole band who thinks you're fucking crazy. And now there's a hashtag (#BestSongToHaveSexTo) that you can use to share your controversial opinion on this important topic.
It's already revealed some preferences that concern people, like this:
— Dread Juju (@VultureBoyJuju) April 2, 2013
There are a lot of other bizarre song choices. For instance, you could go with anything that's live.
#BestSongToHaveSexTo anything off a 'Live' album. You get a round of applause every 3 to 4 minutes or so.— Mike Fuller (@MikeKX947) April 2, 2013
Or something time-specific:
Awwwww babe, find yourself a friend:
Or some standards, perhaps:
Some people seem to have missed the memo on how it's not all about the lyrics:
Okay, enough fooling around guys let's get SERIOUS:
let’s get serious, Jeff Buckley’s recording of Hallelujah is the #BestSongToHaveSexTo, no contest— Nathan Redmond (@braderunnar) April 2, 2013
This is actually a good one. I mean, there's a reason Love & Basketball chose it:
#BestSongToHaveSexTo maxwell -this woman's worth— fiercest scorpio ♏ (@_mikaelajohnson) April 2, 2013
The problem people using #BestSongToHaveSexTo have run into is that they've confused "sexy" with "having sex." No one has explained this better than Nick Hornby, who addressed it in his book of essays about music Songbook. In Songbook, Hornby makes the compelling case that the song often-cited as The Sexiest Song Ever, "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye, is actually the worst to have sex to for a variety of reasons:
"Would it be possible to fuck to the tune of "Let's Get It On" without laughing? (Not that there's anything wrong with laughing during sex, but laughter was not, I suspect, the sound that Marvin intended to provoke....And even if you did manage to get through it without a giggling fit, could you manage the same during "If I Should Die Tonight," the third track on the album? Granted, you may have finished by then, but there's a chance that you won't have turned the music off, which means that you'll be lying there with your girlfriend, or boyfriend, or someone you don't know very well, while Marvin is telling you that the sex you have just had is unlikely to be bettered during the remainder of your lifetimes–indeed, that you may as well shuffle off this mortal coil now, so anticlimactic is any subsequent experience likely to be. This is an intolerable burden to place on any couple, and certainly inhibits the usual postcoital activities (sleep, the hunt for socks or the TV remote, exchanges of false e-mail addresses, etc.)"
And really, we all know the only appropriate answer to #BestSongToHaveSexTo is something from this guy: