The same week it's been reported that Madonna's net worth is about $1 billion bones, someone's dug up one of Madge's eight siblings, Anthony Ciconne, a homeless alcoholic who's been living on the streets of Traverse City, Michigan for the last three years and basically drinking himself to death.
"Madonna doesn't give a shit if I'm dead or alive. She lives in her own world.
'I never loved her in the first place, she never loved me. We never loved each other. No family back up, when the chips fell, no family back-up... What would you do under these circumstance when your family has stood against you completely?"
Ciconne, who after a number of rehab stints paid for by Madonna refuses to go back ("I'm a human being, you can call me what you want. [Alcoholic] is a label, I don't like it. I don't need brain surgery, I merely need love and care of family and friends") was fired from his father and stepmother's vineyard in Michigan after repeatedly sneaking into the cellars, lying on the floor and swigging from bottles. He says:
"Evidently various people have been pestering [Madonna] about matters of neglect regarding family and such. I think she's probably a little bit pissed off with me for even troubling her. But I've never asked my sister for anything. She don't owe me nothing. That's her shit, man, she made her money, she worked for it, I've got no beef. If she wants to live that way, that's her thing."
- Mamie Gummer and her Broadway actor/super-tall beefcake husband Benjamin Walker are divorcing. [Us Weekly]
- The L.A. County Sheriff's recommending prosecution for neighborhood menace Justin Bieber. [TMZ]
- Also, German customs took away El Beebo's pet monkey Mally and he flipped out. [Metro]
- Lindsay Lohan supposedly stole a bunch of shit from the set of Anger Management, but she says the wardrobe woman OK'ed it and it would just be taken out of her salary. [TMZ]
- Ric Flair's (the man Will Ferrell based his Eastbound and Down character Ashley Schaeffer on) 25-year-old son Reid has died of as-yet unknown causes. [TMZ]
- Chris Brown and Frank Ocean are feuding no more, says Breezy. [Bossip]
- Angelina Jolie won a lawsuit against a Croatian journalist who claimed she plagiarized the script for her directorial debut Blood and Honey. [THR]
- Blue Ivy Carter has her own teeny VIP chair for Bey's world tour. [Daily Mail
- Daniel Radcliffe, who starred with the late Richard Griffiths in both Harry Potter and the West End's Equus: "I'm proud to say I knew him." Tears. [Express]
- Jeremy "Steampunk Hansel" Renner and his ex-girlfriend Sonni Pacheco had their daughter, Ava Berlin. [People]
- Justin Timberlake used to trip balls at Coachella. [Page Six]
- Newark Airport officials mistook Amanda Seyfried for Lindsay Lohan. [Page Six]
- Lady Gaga's in a Louis Vuitton wheelchair now. [Us Weekly]
- Okay, so Kim Kardashian is considering naming the Kimyeby "Easton West." [Us Weekly]
- CRISIS TIME: Mischa Barton and The Hills "star" Audrina Patridge wore the same dress to an event. "They exchanged a horrified look when they realized they were wearing similar outfits, then they spent the rest of the event avoiding each other." [Page Six]