Nicolas "Bling Bling" Sarkozy, former President of La France, spouse of the immeasurably calm Carla Bruni, and deadringer for Mickey Mouse, is currently at the center of an inquiry into whether he took advantage of Liliane Bettencourt, the 90-year-old L'Oreal heiress, for some campaign financing after she was already certified as demented. Questions about whether Sarkozy took advantage of France's second richest and finest smelling person come at a particularly inconvenient time for the diminutive former president, with rumors flooding the French media that Sarkozy has been eyeing another presidential run in the wake of his recent defeat at the hands of socialist do-gooder Francois Hollande.
According to the Guardian, the Bordeaux magistrate who launched the inquiry is particularly keen on figuring out whether Sarkozy committed any "abuse-of-weakness" when he was prodding Bettencourt for campaign finances in 2007. On Friday, Sarkozy continued to insist that he was innocent of pulling any Max Bialystock-like tricks to get money from Bettencourt, but the questions raised by the inquiry are already threatening Sarkozy's future political ambitions. His attorney Thierry Herzog assured any French citizens pining for a second "bling bling" presidency that he is seeking to annul the formal investigation, the final step before a suspect is officially accused of a crime.
Sarkozy lost his grip on the presidency last year when Socialist Party challenger Francois Hollande assured Sarkozy-weary citizens that he'd be the anti-bling antidote the country sorely seemed to need. About a year in, however, Hollande's poll ratings are dismal and France's unemployment is at a 13-year high. This ostensibly leaves the door open to a second Sarkozy presidency in 2017, because, now that Hollande's budget minister stepped down to address accusations of tax fraud, the French probably figure that one corrupt administration is just as good as another corrupt administration. Le sigh — democratic government is hard, isn't it? Are there any Bourbons around still?