I'm so excited about this I might accidentally-on-purpose eat my computer. Then maybe I'd die and maybe in heaven HBO is two weeks ahead!!! Except I don't believe in heaven, so I guess I'd just be dead and then I'd NEVER GET TO SEE STRONG BELWAS EAT ALL THE LOCUSTS. So, I guess I'll just wait a couple of weeks. W-evs.

Anyway, Let's take a look at what's going on in this trailer. Spoilers abound.

New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

Dani got a new outfit! She's on a boat with Ser Jorah and the dragz, sailing for Pentos if I remember correctly. (I read this shit years ago and I don't have time to look everything up, so correct me in comments.)


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

Tyrion is all angsty about his fucked-up face. Get ready for 8 million more hours of that shitty attitude.


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

Oh, is Cersei being an unhinged beast about something? Uuuuuuugh it's still sooooo loooooooong until she's locked up in her hair-shirt being ignored by a nun. Curse you, linear time.


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

I wish Tywin Lannister wasn't such a fucking BOSS so I could hate him more. I feel like he is more likable in the show than in the books. Discuss?


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

DUHHH I'M A BIG DUMB OTHER AND WHAT IS THE POINT OF ME (SOMETHING REALLY BAD PROBABLY, TBD)


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

Goddamnit, Stannis. Worst character ever? Don't you have a suburban detention to oversee or something?


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

What's this? The fighting pits? Strong Belwas? WHERE THE FUCK IS STRONG BELWAS


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

Oh, is Jon Snow eyeing somebody reproachfully because his nuts are cold? You do not say.


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

The North. Pretty much snow and stuff.


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

Oh, it's just Brienne of Tarth fighting the Kingslayer on a bridge. Somebody's loins are stirring 'neath his pantaloons!!!


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

YEEEESSS UNSULLIED WHAT WHAT


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

Is that that weirdo that Dani falls in love with? I never liked that weirdo. Wasn't he supposed to have a fancy oiled beard?


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

Hey, Joffrey. This raven came for you.


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

WTF, Joffrey, you said there would be lemon cakes in here, but this just looks like a room full of violent disillusionment and abject suffering...


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

Haha, Stannis, here's your house. You can have this moldy Wall castle.


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

This is going to end great, Cersei. Don't even worry about it. (Dude, the Tyrells are such fucking sleeper-hit badasses. DUDE.)


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

Mance Rayder, right?


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

Robb. No. Nope. No. Stop. Robb. STOPP.


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

Yeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssss. Show a mammoth! Show a mammoth!


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

You know nothing about Frenching, Jon Snow.


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

Margaery. You are drunk. Who's she talking to? Some fucking Kettleblack, prolly.


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

Oh yeah! That bear! Oh yeah. That bear. :(


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

Greyjoys exist. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

I don't know who that is. But it looks like Cersei is ripping off her clothes? Someone else figure this out for me.


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

Greatest buddy cop movie of all time.


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

Wait, scratch that. Arya and the Hound are the greatest buddy cop movie of all time. Or they would have been. If Arya wasn't too busy having the GREATEST STORY ARC IN THE HISTORY OF [REDACTED BECAUSE IT'S TOO GREAT EVEN FOR A SPOILER].


New Game of Thrones Trailer! New Game of Thrones Trailer!

Oops sorry about ur eyeballz. TTYL.