Aw, man. Doesn't John Boehner just seem like the coolest, most laid-back of dudes? Forget the kind of guy you want to have a beer with. No, the House Speaker is the type of chill who'd you want to take to the beach, surf some waves, smoke a j and chit-chat about life with — all because he comes off as so reasonable, grounded in reality and unblinded by his own limitations and prejudices.

There's another (and another and another) cool thing about Boehner — his opinions are solid as a rock. Old Faithful, they call him, and not because he's a blowhole, but because he's so dependable. The world may be changing but nothing — nothing — will ever manage to change him or his stances on anything whether it be pressure from the Republican party, reason or his own family's happiness. See? Isn't that just cool?

Take this gay marriage thing for example. Boehner doesn't think nice lesbian moms (or any other gay people for that matter) should be able to get married to each other under any circumstances. Unfortunately, a bunch of the Republicans who used to share the House Speaker's opinion on this are beginning to change their minds. Like Sen. Rob Portman, for example, who reversed his stance on marriage equality after learning that his own son was gay.

Boehner was recently on ABC's "This Week" where anchor Martha Raddatz asked whether or not he would have a similar change of heart upon discovering that one of his own children was gay.

Martha Raddatz: Can you imagine yourself in a situation where you reversed your decision as Portman has on gay marriage if a child of yours or someone you love told you they were gay.

Boehner: Listen, I believe marriage is a union between one man and one woman. It's what I grew up with, it's what i belive, it's what my church teaches me and I can't imagine that position would ever change.

Attaboy, House Speaker. Winter, spring, summer or fall, we can always count on you to be the absolute worst.

Boehner "can't imagine" having a gay child would change his position on same-sex marriage [Salon]