On a scale of 1 to Daddy Issues, Selena Gomez ranks among Sylvia Plath, Angelina Jolie and the daughter of the Dos Equis guy, if he has one. Not to mention, let's be honest, most of us.
She lightheartedly told Harper's that her divorced father used to spend quality time with her. Oh, did I say "her"? I meant "tits." She was there too, though.
"When I was 7, my dad would go to Hooters to watch [San Antonio] Spurs games. But he started noticing that when I would come, with my little pigtails, all the waitresses would be like, ‘Hey!' So he ended up half spending time with me but with all those cute girls coming over. And that would be our thing."
Perhaps a partial explanation for her former relationship with non-threatening rice cake Justin Bieber? :-\ I mean, if dating him IS actually just like in his perfume ad, that kid would never go to Hooters. [NY Post]
After 16 and a half years on The View, veteran squawker Joy Behar is leaving the show for greener pastures: specifically, "an intelligent talk show where you have room to breathe" (ZING), playwriting, and naturally, stand-up, which she says she's been neglecting. Say that now, Joy Behar. But when you're in the damp-floor basement of McNamee's Town Tavern on open mic night, doing a routine about menopause to Paul the real estate novelist and Davy who's stilll in the Navy and probably will be for life, talk to me then. [Deadline]
Honestly, can you think of a better celebrity threesome on a Mexican vacation than Reese Witherspoon, Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore? Apparently new moms Reese and Drew became friends over "losing the baby weight" (guh), while Cammie, who covers more of the tequila-and-regrets territory than the other two, can "work out all day and relax." Let's join them! I can't afford a plane ticket but I'm flapping my arms really hard right now. [Us Weekly]
Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Baldwin nee Thomas are having a girl, yet another baby that will undoubtedly be lost in the shadow of the Royal Baby. If Kimye's kid is The (Second) Most Important Baby of Our Time, does that make Female Baby Baldwin... third? IDK IDK. Feel free to throw more babies in the ring (though not literally please).
So happy about our little girl! Thank you all for the happy wishes xoxo— Hilaria Baldwin (@hilariabaldwin) March 7, 2013
Rihanna's mom Monica got wind of her salacious Instagram and chewed her out on the phone.
"I'm not afraid of any person in this world, but my mother, I'm terrified of her. She called me two days ago and reeled me in about two naked pictures Melissa put up on Instagram – a sneak peek from a photo book she's making about me. She went crazy on me. I was, like, embarrassed. I felt like I got my ass whipped in front of my class at school. She humbled the fuck out of me."
- Tina Fey did not want America to see her in her swimwear, but alas. "My nightmare came true and I was photographed in my bathing suit in Florida. Thankfully, I was mostly submerged. [...] It was at Disney World. I felt like it had to be another guest." [Us Weekly]
- Brangelina's vino got sold out in five hours. [NZ Herald]
- Anna Kendrick broke up with her boyfriend, director Edgar Wright. [Daily Mail]
- My personal role model Lily Tomlin doesn't care about marrying her longtime partner Jane Wagner: "You got to make hors d'eoeuvres and things like that." Fucking worrrrd. [Contact Music]
- James Franco got a
pot leafstar on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. [USA Today]
- He's also letting his students follow him around during the Oz press tour. [Contact Music]
- Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck's progeny is on its feet. [Us Weekly]
- Jay-Z closed the Atlantic City branch of the 40/40 Club. [MTV News]
- Justin Bieber's recovering in the hospital from his onstage oxygen scare. [People]
- He should give Kim Kardashian a call! They're both on bed rest right now: they can watch Frasier reruns together. [Us Weekly]
- Duuuude, and so is Kelly Osbourne. Drink more water, everybody. [NYDN]
- Vanessa Lachey describes "the baby blues" after she gave birth to son Camden. [Us Weekly]
- Solange Knowles did a set at MoMa and Bey was overheard telling her backstage that she was so proud of her sis that she "had to hold back tears." [Page Six]
- Mia Farrow retweeted some information about a break-up app that "eradicates" your ex and said "Wow! Am I too late?" She took it down when everyone was like ZOMG WOODY ALLEN. [Page Six]
- Demi Moore wants spousal support from Ashton Kutcher. [NYDN]
- The Hangover III trailer because that movie's happening. [The Life Files]
- Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford are all returning to the next Star Wars movie. [MTV]
- In Nicki Minaj's latest music video, she is topless and wearing star pasties. YOOOLOOOOO. [The Sun]
- Chris Brown flipped out at a valet attendant over a $10 charge. I know, shocking. [NYDN]
- Cee Lo: Loberace is the best thing you'll see all day. (LOL, "Loberace.") [The Life Files]
- Never mind, Grumpy Cat at SXSW is. [TMZ]