6 Hideous Shoes Urban Outfitters Is Trying to Sell YouS

While innocently clicking around the Urban Outfitters website, we stumbled upon a frightening place, full of detestable abominations that will make your skin crawl: The shoe section.

6 Hideous Shoes Urban Outfitters Is Trying to Sell YouS

If a wide-mouth bass and a tire mated, you'd get this horrorshow. Imagine looking under the bed for something and finding this, gaping at you. Nightmares.

Riudavets Leather Avarca Sandal, $120

6 Hideous Shoes Urban Outfitters Is Trying to Sell YouS

The eyes are staring, the mouth is hanging open, and you can just see all the uncomfortable pinch points.

Kimchi Blue Lace-Up Peep-Toe Heel,
$69

6 Hideous Shoes Urban Outfitters Is Trying to Sell YouS

Someone went to a magical land where shimery unicorns and rainbow-colored goats roam emerald hills, then captured one of said goats and cut its foot off.

SENSO Delilah Rainbow-Stripe Woolen Ankle Boot, $253

6 Hideous Shoes Urban Outfitters Is Trying to Sell YouS

Your grandpa had one long leg, one short leg, horrible bunions and left these for you in his will.

Cheap Monday Peep-Toe Oxford Flatform, $110

6 Hideous Shoes Urban Outfitters Is Trying to Sell YouS

Anal/genital warts.

Dr. Martens Tonal Pyramid-Stud 3-Eye Oxford, $250

6 Hideous Shoes Urban Outfitters Is Trying to Sell YouS

Brought to you by the Ghost of Christmas Past, as played by Trinidad James.

Jeffrey Campbell Chunky Chain High-Top Sneaker, $245

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