While innocently clicking around the Urban Outfitters website, we stumbled upon a frightening place, full of detestable abominations that will make your skin crawl: The shoe section.
If a wide-mouth bass and a tire mated, you'd get this horrorshow. Imagine looking under the bed for something and finding this, gaping at you. Nightmares.
The eyes are staring, the mouth is hanging open, and you can just see all the uncomfortable pinch points.
Someone went to a magical land where shimery unicorns and rainbow-colored goats roam emerald hills, then captured one of said goats and cut its foot off.
Your grandpa had one long leg, one short leg, horrible bunions and left these for you in his will.
Brought to you by the Ghost of Christmas Past, as played by Trinidad James.