BRB, taking ten million showers after reading this letter which, according to a Redditor, was left on a woman's doorstep.
For the THICK blonde,
You are so lovely. I love your luscious legs. Especially when you wear those black little shorts. So luscious, so thick.
Oh, and the way you walk, so confident with your beautiful breasts. Mmm.
You are so luscious with your bubble butt & [eatable?? does this say eatable??] thighs.
Continue to wear smaller shorts. Be proud!
Sometimes I forget that, by virtue of being a woman, my body is constantly up for appraisal by strangers — and that I should appreciate "compliments," unless I'm, like, a total bitch. Thanks for reminding me, dear letter writer! Also, get a thesaurus? (I'll never be able to hear the word "luscious" again.)