Nothing in your life could have prepared you for the The Dog-E! Red Carpet Special, featuring Anne Hathawag, Jennifur Lawrence, and Djamie Foxhound. Nobody seemed to manage to be able to do something with the name "Quvenzhané Wallis." Quvenzhané Waggis, duh. Props for Anne Hathawag though.
Also: how about Argo Fetch and Zero Bark Thirty? Hold your applause for my punning until the end of the ceremony, please.