While it's completely obnoxious to assume everyone can afford it, there is no bigger argument for seeking out farm-to-table sustenance than the recent spat of recalled foods. While the latest mass-produced recall snafu does not quite approximate the horror of the glass-sprinkled Lean Cuisines, it definitely stacks up to England's "maybe we'll put this horsemeat in here and nobody will notice!" problem.
After two consumer complaints, The U.S. Department of Agriculture's Food Safety and Inspection Service denotes that a Virginia packing company called Smithfield has recalled around 38,000 lbs of their "Gwaltney mild pork sausage roll"—which, let's face it, already sounds delicious, right? Right?—because they may contain small pieces of plastic. They think it's probably from gloves, as if determining this would make absolutely anyone feel better.
The recalled products are, specifically:
1-lb. chubs of "Gwaltney mild pork sausage roll" with a use-by date of Mar. 12, 2013
Cases containing chubs of "Gwaltney mild pork sausage roll" with a case code of 78533109741
The sausage was produced on Jan. 11 and was distributed in Alabama, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, North Carolina, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania and Texas.
LOL, "chubs." Anyway, if you're in any of those states, return your Gwaltney sausages, unless you feel like washing them down with a 1-litre of battery acid and/or are in fact a robot. Look: in an ideal world, we could all afford to eat free-range, organic whatever-the-fuck. But until then (the 12th of Never) food distributors need to get their shit together.
Image via Joe Gough/Shutterstock