I have to admit, I do find something slightly compelling about the utter unselfconsciousness of Courtney Stodden, her royal footman Doug, and Dourtney, their dashing steed/fake son. If you take her at her word that she was not sold into child-marriage, the unselfconsciousness is not manufactured, and she is wholly the owner of her own crazy sexual-baby persona, then they might be the most genius meta-comedy mastermind duo of all time. Or they're hella depressing. I don't know. Either way, here's Courtney Stodden (WITH BONUS DOURTNEY CAMEO) reminding us all why it might be a good idea to stay in school and expand one's mind instead of marring an unsettling character actor and retreating into a life of boredom and YouTube-enabled self-indulgence at age 16.