How can Portland keep clutching its unofficial hipster capital title now that television's wet-fart, The Real World, has defiled the city's pristine bike lanes? Oregon Trail has taught us that there are three obvious solutions — intrepid citizens with their hearts set on creating an edgy pontoon city in the Pacific powered only by hemp biscuits, folk music, and, yes, recumbent bikes, can yoke all their sturdiest oxen together and attempt to ford the Willamette River; they can caulk their food trucks and attempt to float across the river; or they can hire a Native American guide to help them across. Obviously, the latter choice is simply too progressive to turn down, but beware! The Native American guide is also a Real World cast member...

via ONTD]