Kathie Lee and Hoda Are in a Chardonnay-Soaked FeudS

No! The wonderfully batty, tipsy holy duo of Hoda and Kathie Lee are boiling with resentment thanks to that classic American triptych of greed, geography and sheer carnal impulse. (I may have thrown that third one in.) Apparently Kathie Lee has been lobbying to move Today to Los Angeles for quite some time, and her nagging is annoying the shitballs out of loyal New Yorker Hoda. Also:

Our sources say there is "some tension" between Hoda and Kathie Lee... which began when Hoda felt Kathie Lee snubbed her by not promoting her book on the air. "Both women are really strong, so tension is almost inevitable," says one source.

I haven't felt so betrayed since Ice-T and Coco had marital problems. Get vino-drunk and work it out, you guys. I can't handle another heartbreak. [TMZ]


Kathie Lee and Hoda Are in a Chardonnay-Soaked Feud

In between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's angry, leonine intercourse up against a wall made of money on Valentine's Day—too bad there's no Hallmark Card called "I Love Doing Genitals Battle With You, Comrade"—Brad gave her breath mints as a joke gift

The vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free product includes one swallowable gel cap and a mint to suck on and was intended as a loving joke because "he always teases her that she has bad breath," a source told Us Weekly.

I'd have taken the dude more as a Spencer's Gift "Boner Pills" kind of prank-gifter, but otay. [NYDN]


Kathie Lee and Hoda Are in a Chardonnay-Soaked Feud

Another day, another woman whose weight we needlessly concern-troll. Assorted doctors are hella concerned about Faith Hill, like the author of The Hamptons Diet whose comments have absolutely nothing to do with wanting to sell more bullshit books. "Her neck is extremely gaunt and her clavicles, they are ripping that bodice." "Her color and general look is good [but] it is certainly very aging on her and is an unhealthy weight." Oh, Christ, everyone shut up. [Radar Online]


Kathie Lee and Hoda Are in a Chardonnay-Soaked FeudS

Literally everybody's boyfriend Peter Dinklage has been cast in the upcoming X-Men: Days of Future Past a sequel to (speaking of donkey ball suckage) X-Men: First Class, which added more weight to my long-held suspicion that January Jones does all of her acting alone, against a green screen, in an icy cave on Mars, later to be CGI'ed in order to make it appear as if she's acting with other human beings. Anyway, I love Peter Dinklage. [Celebitchy]


Kathie Lee and Hoda Are in a Chardonnay-Soaked Feud

This may come as a huge shock, but Ashton Kutcher is aware that certain films that comprise his body of work would make Fellini dry heave. Or, as he put it in the March Esquire issue: "I know exactly what films I've done that fucking suck donkey, and I know the ones that are good, that people like." Ashton Kutcher currently has 29 credits to his name on IMDB. Total donkey sucking tally: 29. [IMDB]


Kathie Lee and Hoda Are in a Chardonnay-Soaked FeudS For a measly $3 million, you can live in Tom Cruise's New York condo/Scientology horrorpalace. Pilot idea: My Roommate Xenu. Brett Ratner: let's talk. [Us Weekly]
  • I'm so sick of writing about Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian's "marriage" that I could hard-boil my own eyeballs and put them in a Cobb salad but here you go. [TMZ]
  • Mike Tyson's wife Kiki is in the hospital with severe stomach pains. [TMZ]
  • Some clips from the Very Special Beyoncé episode of Oprah. [Bossip]
  • Marc Jacobs designed some Diet Coke cans if anybody gives any fucks about that. [NYDN]
  • Comedian and hero (IMHO!!) Eddie Izzard will receive a lifetime achievement award from Harvard University. [Star UK]
  • Rihanna was .fun's original choice to collaborate on "We Are Young" instead of Janelle Monae. REVISIONIST HISTORY. ALTERNATE UNIVERSE. [MTV]
  • Goldie Harvey, called Nigeria's version of Lady Gaga, has died. The cause is still unknown other than a "rapid illness." [AllAfrica]
  • Homely social security office employee Kate Upton and her boyfriend Justin Verlander are denying their romance. [USA Today]
  • Once upon a Valentine's Day yesterday, Josh Duhamel and Fergie boned. [TV3ie]
  • So did John Mayer and Katy Perry after they went on a super-romantic date. Cute dress. (Katy's.) [Daily Mail]
  • So did a blush-blazer clad Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson. [Us Weekly]
  • Meanwhile, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart moped on different continents. Besides, she's totally that girl who points out all day that it's just a bullshit consumer holiday, man. [E!]
  • Chris Brown and Rihanna are apparently ignoring each other again now? [Daily Mail]
  • Speaking of which: reports that Breezy and Drake are suing each other over The Great Bottle Incident of Last June are false. [E!]
  • Sacha Baron Cohen has outpaced Tom Hanks as the highest paid actor in America. (£20m.) [Daily Mail]
  • Bryan Adams and Alicia Grimaldi had a second baby, named her Lula. [People]
  • Michelle Williams (the Jen Lindley one, not the "Bootylicious" one) wore a dress with some boyshorts visible underneath. Scandal? Not a scandal? Want to get breakfast? [Us Weekly]
  • "[Chris Noth] was nearly dragged up to the microphone by Sex and The City fans. The guy is catnip for women." [Page Six]
  • Jimmy Kimmel is vocal about how much he hates Jay Leno: "I don't think he has actual feelings." [Gossip Cop]
  • "Liza Minnelli and Barry Manilow sitting together and cheering at Birdland" is everything I didn't know I needed. [Page Six]
  • Regis Philbin watches Michael Strahan on TV with the bittersweet dreams of days of yore. Aww, Reeg. [NYDN]
  • Christie Brinkley insists that her and Billy Joel's daughter Alexa Ray Joel hasn't gotten any more plastic surgery procedures aside from "a little tweak of the nose." [Radar Online]