Chris Brown Totaled His Car En Route to Charity Appearance With Little KidsS

Yesterday afternoon Chris Brown wrecked his Porsche after being chased down by the rabid paparazzi on the way to a charity event, according to the Beverly Hills Police Department. Brown's PR rep (#2 most thankless job after "professional human shit shoveler") explained how it happened:

"He was in his vehicle by himself headed to the Debbie Allen Dance Academy for a Symphonic Love Foundation event when two vehicles cut him off. The occupants jumped out, with cameras, and aggressively approached his vehicle. In an effort to remove himself from the situation, he began to back down an alley at which point his was cut off by two additional vehicles. He is okay."

Brown managed to make it to the event (see above), as well as the Roc Nation pre-Grammys brunch at West Hollywood's Soho House, where he and a concerned Rihanna "were photographed gazing into each other's eyes, with RiRi putting her arms around Chris' neck. She appears to be really worried about Chris." Keep in mind also that, ironically, the 2009 assault charge is almost four years old to the day—it occurred after Clive Davis's pre-Grammy party. [E!, Hollywood Life]

  • I liked Leonardo DiCaprio a lot more back before he took this hiatus from acting. These days all he seems to do is high-five Jonah Hill over the head of a topless woman as the three frolic in an astonishingly clear ocean and talk to dudes from Entourage about how much punani he's pulling.

    "Leo talked about the fact that he is sleeping with ‘multiple women' right now," says our earwitness. "He was totally open about it. Kevin [Connolly] looked at Leo and told him, ‘I want to be you.'

    "Leo replied, ‘Everyone does.' He was acting very nice, but is very arrogant," says the insider.

    I got two words for you, pal: J. Edgar. [NYDN]

  • Michael Lohan is reportedly writing a tell-all called I Am Not Daddy Dearest ... If I Can Turn It All Around, You Can Too! as a response to Dina Lohan's tell-all. So you can buy both of them, or you can buy neither of them and be happier. [TMZ]
  • Meanwhile, speaking of bad influences, Lindsay Lohan has temporarily holed up in Courtney Love's former digs, rent free. [TMZ]
  • Dustin Hoffman, a man after my own heart, likes Patrón and In-N-Out burgers during awards season. [Page Six]
  • Nick Lachey is taking his teeny son Camden on tour with him. [People]
  • The Wanted singer Max George's ideal woman is "anyone in Hollywood." [Times of India]
  • Christina Ricci will star in NBC comedy Girlfriend In A Coma, which focuses on a woman who wakes up from a coma and discovers she has a kid. I miss the days when she was sexually experimenting with the little kid from The Ice Storm while wearing a Nixon mask. [THR]
  • Charlie Sheen made a video in which he pleaded with killer Chrisopher Dorner—who called Sheen "effin awesome" in his manifesto—to call him and end his murder spree. [TMZ]
  • Before real-life Slytherin met Spencer Pratt met Heidi Montag, he was "way more evil than I am now. I was in all these secret societies, places where powerful men hang out, there were rituals, things you wear... It started at university. I'm not a part of it anymore. Just places where powerful, wealthy people help each other along." [Contact Music]
  • Jill Kelley's loved ones wish everyone would stop calling her a trollop. [Page Six]
  • Paul Feig has some choice words for film critic Rex Reed, who called Melissa McCarthy "tractor-sized," "humongous" and a "female hippo":
  • Justin Bieber was unfazed by the blizzard hitting New York during his SNL episode last night: "I'm Canadian." [Us Weekly]
  • El Beebo also (accidentally?) spelled Lorne Michaels' name wrong on Instagram. Lauren! He might be the only person in showbiz to do that and continue working/breathing. [HuffPo]
  • Kim Kardashian inexplicably posed like the Statue of Liberty for Kanye West as the two vacationed in Rio. [People]
  • Kate Gosselin says that the Internet is a big bully. [Us Weekly]
  • A SWAT team was called in to deal with crowds during Kylie and Kendall Jenner's promo appearance for their PacSun fashion line. Every SWAT trainee's dream, surely. [Daily Mail]
  • Here are some stills from Supreme Court judge Courtney Stodden's upcoming music video for her "song" (just how bendy is the English language?), "Reality." [NYDN]
  • Oh my God, this seal is named Yule Log and he's BRITISH and they had to put him on A DIET. I'm melting. [Digital Spy]