A discreet condom delivery service, eh? How novel! The new SOS Condoms iOS app (available only in Dubai with complimentary irony) claims that it can deliver condoms to all those forgetful bros who don't have any condoms, but would also like to have safe sex. All the distressed, condom-less bro has to do is locate himself on his space phone and a prophylactic double-0 agent will show up with a pizza box full of condoms. Or a pizza made of condoms. Or a pizza with condoms hidden under the cheese. Which of those sounds most palatable? Also, wouldn't it seem suspicious if you were about to have sex with a guy, asked him if he had a condom, and he was like, "Sure, sure, I have plenty of condoms, truckloads, in fact, but before we sex each other, let's order a pizza!" Then, as you waited for the pizza, you actually got kind of hungry, but when the pizza did finally arrive, it was covered in condoms instead of pepperoni. It really seems like Durex hasn't considered how gross that would be.