Did you know that the cities and prefectures of Japan have kawaii mascots? I don't know what any of these things are — I look at this mess and just see Valerie Cherish as a giant cupcake — but I really love the idea of cities having adorable mascots. Ugh, so sick of sports hogging all the good shit in America! (I'm looking at you Harry Elephante*!)
Last weekend, 141 of these costumed insanators (called "yuru-kyara") gathered in Sasebo to "make their mark on history" by performing the largest group of mascots to do the same dance together. No shit, this is something that's in the Guinness Book of World Records, and you can see someone from Guinness walking around and inspecting the dance.
They performed their synchronized dance number to a song called The Beard Dance by comedy rock band (?) (Kinda like Spinal Tap?), The Drifters. According to Rocket News, the yuru-kyara has to complete the five minute dance with 95 percent accuracy to set a new record. An earnest question might be: Who the fuck are they beating out? Probably another group of yuru-kyara.
But did they do it?!
Although the yuru-kyara earnestly and enthusiastically shook their tiny arms and bulbous bodies to the music, they twice failed meet the requirements. However, 134 mascots put in a flawless performance on the third try and succeeded in setting the record! Congratulatory music played and the characters jumped around hugging each other, completely lost in the moment. Could there be any happier sight on planet Earth than 141 giant cuddly creatures dancing and embracing? We think not.
*I know his name is Stomper now, but he'll always be Harry Elephante to me!