Despite Katy Perry's best efforts, one cannot domesticate the Wild Striped Douchebag, and John Mayer is no exception. Like the Countess Elizabeth Báthory, best remembered for bathing in the blood of virgins to retain her youth, it was only a matter of time before Mayer found the latest zeitgeisty female It-person and tried to suck the publicity out of them.
He was spotted at the Jane Hotel on Friday night with Girls star Allison Williams, his arm around her waist. Williams is reportedly dating Mayer's friend Ricky Van Veen, the founder of College Humor. So I guess one could argue that this incident is a harmless friend hang, but that's kind of like saying otters like a little oil spill in their water!
Afterwards the two had Mexican food in the West Village with a third dude, and "seemed to be in an intense conversation the entire night. They stayed pretty late until the restaurant was clearing out." Mystery solved: HE'S the wound. [NYDN]
Amy Poehler is writing a book! Amy Poehler is writing a book! "Her original twist on the conventional memoir will have universal appeal," says publisher Harper Collins, explaining that it will be "an illustrated, non-linear diary full of humor and honesty and brimming with true stories, fictional anecdotes and life lessons." Drops 2014. [Vulture]
Approximately half the hands imprinted in the pavement outside Grauman's Chinese Theater have touched the boobs of self-professed 1970s starfucker Carole Mallory, who was rebounding from a broken engagement with Pablo Picasso's son Claude. She wrote about her sexploits in a new tell-all for anyone interested in Peter Sellers' body hair.
Robert Deniro: "During lovemaking, he never stopped looking in my eyes. He had a butterfly tattoo that I later realized matched his flighty spirit. So did the fact he left his socks on."
Peter Sellers: "I kissed him all over his hairy body. He had hair everywhere. He even had it on his back. I liked it. He reminded me of a giant panda bear."
Richard Gere: "His gymnastic skills were apparent. He made love his way . . . He didn't withhold. He was Valentino in the flesh. A sex symbol not to be forgotten. Not to be lumped in with all the others, but to be remembered for his uniqueness. His thoughtfulness. His caring."
In which Rihanna premieres her new fashion line for River Island, inspired by London street fashion and meant for "young women. Young, sassy personalities. [...] My style is definitely inspired by by mood." Do you have moods, Rihanna? I didn't know.
The array of Super Bowl celebrity afterparties is pretty spectacular, but here is my favorite one.
...hot LA Club Beacher's Madhouse will take over the Lounge 88 at the W Hotel for a red- carpet event with performances including 49ers versus Falcons midget wrestling, mini Ke$ha, mini Kanye West, plus "live goats and monkeys running around.
Pictured: Pharell Williams with "mini Ke$ha."
Okay. I think the correct term is "little person." I also think that sounds like a deleted scene of one of those creepy, jaded parties from La Dolce Vita that just makes everyone feel dead inside. But here is a Craigslist ad if you want to dance for it. [Page Six]
- James Deen gives Lindsay Lohan a (verbal) spanking. "In porn I am used to working with professionals who are courteous to others. But Lindsay was like a child lashing out." [The Sun]
- Jamie-Lynn Sigler (Meadow Soprano!) got engaged to a dude by the interesting name of Cutter Dykstra. [Us Weekly]
- Tina Fey revealed what's next on the menu after 30 Rock: a stint in London to film the second Muppets movie, and then a movie called Mail Order Groom with Steve Carrell. [Us Weekly]
- Adele's deadbeat dad wants back in now. (Of course.) [Us Weekly]
- Justin Bieber's new song is supposedly an ode to the Sturm und Drang of dating Selena Gomez: "That's in the past now / We didn't last now." [Us Weekly]
- The new woman who Tim Tebow is not putting his one-eyed friction whistle inside is a church-going young lady by the name of Callie Blaine Balzano. [Celebrity Dirty Laundry]
- Frank Ocean wants to press charges against Chris Brown for Sunday's parking lot brawl. [Bossip]
- Bradley Cooper clears up three rumors floating around the Internet: he won't be playing Lance Armstrong in a biopic, he's not dating Taylor Swift and the moon is not, in fact, made of blue cheese. [Page Six]
- After filming the UK's Celebrity Big Brother, Speidi plan to stay in Britain and have a kid, which is obviously late comeuppance for King George's dickishness/the Revolutionary War. [The Daily Mail]
- Tim Burton broke the 18th century porcelain strung together with piano wire that supports his arm and shoulder. Mournful Goth movie about the difficulties of opening a car door coming in 2015. [Express]
- Anne Hathaway was overheard telling people that she met "a lot of bad ones" (specifically, con artists!) before hooking up with Adam Shulman. [People]
- January Jones says that her hair has been dyed so often that it's falling out. I'm sure guys will still like her for her personality. [People]
- Anna Wintour's longtime boyfriend Shelby Bryan owes $1.2 million in back taxes. [Page Six]
- Supposedly Demi Moore was supposed to star in A League Of Their Own before Bruce Willis knocked her up. [NYDN]
- Taye Diggs singlehandedly apprehended a burglar who was robbing the house he shares with Idina Menzel. Do not fuck with anyone from the original cast of RENT. [NYDN]
- Diane Sawyer may be retiring from ABC World News this year. [NYDN]
- Newsanchor Chris Cuomo is leaving 20/20 for CNN. [Gossip Cop]
- Ryan Lochte forgot his shirt, and his pants, and most of his underwear. Luckily, he remembered the toned, godlike Christmas hams that most of us refer to as thighs. [E!]
- Massive slideshow of stars without makeup. Thanks, New York Daily News. [NYDN]
- Jon Hamm + This photo of Tony Danza 4 E and E and E. [Buzzfeed]