I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy. Instead, Chris Brown, Frank Ocean and six posse members threw down in the parking lot of a recording studio in West Hollywood last night.
Aside from the wanton aggression and flashiness that serves as the through-line of all of Brown's dumbassery, it bears little resemblance to The Great Drake and Chris "Da Club" Incident of 2011, later immortalized in a mushroom-fueled pan flute ballad by Jethro Tull. No bottles were thrown, and it was not over Rihanna. Instead, it was over a parking space, which is how the feud between the Montagues and the Capulets began, actually.