When you take a good look at these jeans, keep in mind what's special about them is what you don't see. Announced last year and hitting stores this month, Denim Spa Therapy For Legs by Wrangler are jeans "infused with moisturising and slimming ingredients."
Say what now?
Writing for the Telegraph, Olivia Bergin explains:
Comprised of three skinny-leg styles costing £85 in differing waist cuts (low, medium and regular), they come in three finishes: Aloe Vera, Olive Extract and Smooth Legs.
The Aloe Vera jeans soothe sensitive skin. The Olive Extract denim moisturises skin. And the Smooth Legs jeans, well, they will help with That For Which There Is No Cure: Cellulite.
Infused with algae extracts, retinol and caffeine, the style was clinically tested by the Institut Adriant in France, where after four weeks of wearing the jeans for eight hours a day, five days a week over six weeks, 69 per cent of the panel claimed that the appearance of their thighs had improved.
The Smooth Legs style reportedly lasts for 15 days' wear (or four to six washes), after which a reload spray can be applied after each wash to continue to reap the jeans' beauty benefits. In total the jeans can retain their cosmetic effects for around 67-95 wears, according to Wrangler.
So, let's see… the jeans are £85 which is around $135, and last for around fifteen days? That's about nine dollars worth of cellulite fixing a day. More than you'd spend slathering yourself with Fat Girl Slim every day, probably, but you're also clothed, so who knows.
Lest we forget: Cellulite is not a disease or a disorder, it's a natural phenomenon, like birthmarks and moles. Only we worship at the altar of smoothness, and lithe Victoria's Secret models and "Worst Beach Bodies" tabloids have us convinced that the appearance of cellulite — which occurs in 90% of post-pubescent women regardless of age or weight — is unsightly. Alas, there is no cure, although there is Cellulaze, should you care to have your connective tissue singed by a laser… results may vary.