If you haven't been paying attention, the newest Miss America of 2013, Mallory Hagan, lives in Brooklyn. But before you get to reeling from the notion that the epicenter of "all things ironic and progressive" could produce something so quaint, so old-fashioned, so retrograde, take comfort in knowing that she's actually from Tennessee, by way of Alabama. Whew. That makes more sense. You know, the South, where tradition holds on tighter than a pair of Spanx? After all, as Hagan's Brooklyn neighbors pointed out, "We don't believe in beauty pageants."
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