The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Last night at the 70th annual Golden Globe Awards, the gowns were mostly good: Sparkly, vibrant, glittery bombshell dresses perfect for Hollywood royalty. Unfortunately, there were a couple of duds: Hideous or ill-fitting concoctions that fell flat. Let's take a look, shall we?

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

There were plenty of pale hues on the red carpet yesterday — whisper-light, beige, flesh-toned and nude illusions. Both Ariel Winter and Sienna Miller chose sweet floral patterns. (Sienna's is by Erdem.)

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Delicate dresses with tulle and sheer accents: Amy Adams, Mayim Bialik, Kaley Cuoco, Kerry Washington. All looking beautiful.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

More pale hues: Hayden Panettiere, Francesca Eastwood.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Also in peachy beige: Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Jennifer Lopez took the "nude" trend right up to the edge of decency. Cathy Z wasn't on the red carpet, but her pretty, pretty beige gown had a vintagey vibe.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Bright, simple, elegant white on Anne Hathaway.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Lea Michele's shoulder-baring gown was simple and elegant, but under certain lights her skin was a bit tangerine.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Kelly Osbourne: Sleek in pastel mint.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Marvelous maternity style: Kristen Bell.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Nude-illusion-mesh, encrusted with stones: Isla Fisher, my girl Thandie Newton.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

In addition to pale hues, we saw quite a bit of metallic last night. The gold accents on Carly Steel and Julianne Hough made for a contrast of hard and soft.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Carla Gugino was a knockout in molten quicksilver.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Emily Mortimer and Frances Fisher were silver belles. Frances's dress is quite beautiful, although she's dressed a lot like her character in Titantic.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

More gold: Michelle Dockery, Emily Blunt.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Connie Britton, shining star.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Jodie Foster rocked strong, bold pewter and sapphire.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Many celebs chose vivid, saturated color instead of pale hues. In navy: Sally Field, Glenn Close.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Jessica Chastain and Rosario Dawson both wore baby blue, and both had bad necklines. Jessica's Calvin Klein is too low and a total mess; Rosario's is too high and constricting.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Julie Bowen wore Halston Heritage in a color called "Atlantic."

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Nicole Richie's elegant blue column has a cool retro feel, but what about that eyeshadow? Olivia Munn wore a Giorgio Armani gown studded with turquoise stones, but was it glam enough?

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

The color of 2013 is emerald, and Jackie Weaver is on it. Meanwhile, Lucy Liu 's rose-vine patterned Carolina Herrera stands out on this red carpet. It's tough to decide if it's in a good way or a bad way.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

In sunny yellow, Alyssa Milano. In vivid chartreuse, Gabby Douglas.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

We saw plenty of scarlet, crimson and coral last night. Claire Danes chose a modern version; Zooey Deschanel wore a classic ball gown silhouette.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Fashion-forward and asymmetrical Dior Haute Couture for Marion Cotillard. Draped simplicity for Megan Hilty.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Very cool belt on the vivid Dior Haute Couture gown Jennifer Lawrence rocked — although the origami bust construction was distracting. Naomi Watts looks like a '30s screen siren in deep red Zac Posen.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Jessica Alba's a class act in pink Oscar de la Renta, but is the lip color right? Jennifer Garner was stunning in a slinky Vivienne Westwood couture dress. Again, questioning that lip color.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Anna Gunn's sugary sweet pink was not a great look, but it was better than the one-boob-up-one-boob-down splatter mess Halle Berry chose. Gorgeous lady, hideous dress.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Speaking of hideous: Taylor Swift's Ursula The Sea Witch gown in grape. Too heavy, too stiff, unflattering neckline. We've seen her look spectacular… and this ain't it.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Lena Dunham also wore a heavy, dark dress the color of eggplant or raisin or prune or something not good. A flirty, shimmery little flapper-style dress would have been so much better with her shape and that haircut.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

As we head toward the dark side, many of the celebs who chose black or midnight looked great. Case in point: Giuliana Rancic and Julianna Margulies, smashing in romantic lace.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Superb versions of black and gold: Helen Mirren, Kate Hudson.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

More black, strapless or lacy: Debra Messing, Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, Sarah Hyland, Louise Roe.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Eva Longoria in skin-baring black lace.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Proving black looks amazing shimmery or matte: Sofia Vergara, Adele. And both of these ladies had some killer makeup happening.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Julianne Moore did black accented by white… and a voluminous updo.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Salma Hayek, doing the bombshell thing she does do well. Channelling Sonia Braga/Kiss of the Spider Woman.

The Good, the Bad and the Tragically Ugly Gowns of the Golden Globes

Last but not least: Your stunningly gorgeous and ridiculously funny hosts, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Divine little strapless frock and adorably sexy little tuxedo!