Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Well, technically he was covered in a chocolate brown suit. But a gal can dream! The premiere of Gangster Squad took place at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood, California, and while some of the big guns were dressed appropriately for the Tinseltown event, others suffered a misfire. Shall we take a look?

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Sean Penn's ensemble is very I-just-stopped-by-on-my-way-back-to-Haiti.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Josh Brolin's brown suit is a little crinkled — the price you pay for sharkskin? Those hand gestures mean "I have totally sobered up, do you want to come over and watch Goonies?"

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Hanging out with these two would be fun, until you needed a liver transplant.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Wow, 22 years after Terminator 2 I am realizing Robert Patrick is hot? Wish that jacket fit better and that tie were narrower.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Actor Austin Abrams keeps it simple.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Danny Masterson's look is very I'm-working-on-my-novel-in-between-hitting-on-grad-students.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Russell Brand is dressed like that one friend you have who is glamourous and fun but always shows up late and/or drunk or has lost his keys and/or his phone and/or needs to borrow $100 and/or laughs too loud and too long and at one time all of his antics were super charming but now you've grown weary of how consistently inconsistent he is.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Behold the handsome Anthony Mackie, one of the few gentlemen here who is actually properly dapper. That three-piece glen plaid suit is sharp as a knife. Add a pinned collar dress shirt — contrast collar, at that — and a hot watch, and you're winning the game.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Nice try award goes to Josh Pence. Excellent work, it's just that Mr. Mackie steals your thunder.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Giovanni Ribisi does classic Hollywood slick.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Digging T.I.'s prep-hop outfit, although the untied laces are bothersome. And: Proving that vests are really and truly A Thing — producer Dan Lin .

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Here's Nick Nolte, looking like the frustrated guest who has begrudgingly left the hotel room only because he kept calling room service and no one picked up.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Abigail Spencer — who played Miss Farrell on Mad Men — does that impossibly pretty/sweet/ethereal/delicate thing IRL with an embroidered ivory gown, lace-accented heels and fresh, dewy makeup. Fantastic lashes.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Though we've grown weary of illusion lace/mesh cutouts on gowns, Mireille Enos looks smashingly regal in slinky snow white.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Also in white, but with luxe leathery accents: Actress Ambyr Childers.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Kim Raver, ravishing in red. In theory plastic accents on heels are a bad idea; here it works somehow, especially if you don't get too close.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Emma Stone kicked the red up a notch to spicy tabasco sauce.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Fiery jewels, hot heels, smoky eyes — it works. Burning up.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Scorcher.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

So here's your chocolate-covered boyfriend Ryan Gosling, with his date, your future mother-in-law, Donna Gosling. I feel I have to think of this suit as being chocolate-colored because otherwise I will start to think of it as being dog doo-colored. Maybe it's fudge? Ochre? Sienna? Loam? Open to non-scatalogical suggestions.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Be tee dubs, your boyfriend has questionable taste in footwear.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

That said, who gives a chocolate-colored crap about his shoes when THAT FACE is all wine me dine me sixty-nine me.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Mmm, why yes, waitress, I did order a mouth-watering sandwich. Thank you.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Was Covered in Chocolate at the Gangster Squad Premiere

Images via Getty.