It's 2013! And yet, this is a very 2012 story: the Internet is feeling all Olivia Benson-on-Law & Order: SVU this morning after piecing together with the help of "forensic evidence" that Rihanna and Chris Brown spent the night together on New Year's Eve. By "forensic evidence" I mean Instagram pictures of them snoozing off champagne hangovers in the same polka dot comforter (posted by both Ri-Ri and Breezy).
I don't gettttt ittttt. It's like, what did they do in bed? Play Apples To Apples? Watch every John Goodman movie from 1989 to the present? Hey, you guys, can you just Instagram what particular activity you were engaged in, just to avoid any lingering confusion? I'd also accept a diagram.
For people who think their shit is "Nobodies (sic) Business," they are kind of making it everybody's goddamn business, is all I'm saying. Also, OF COURSE Chris Brown has a throne in his bedroom. [E!]
This is pretty dark. A paparazzo following Justin Bieber's Ferrari in the hopes of snapping some pictures was hit by a car and killed near L.A.'s Sepulveda Boulevard. Just before the accident, the California Highway Patrol had pulled over the Ferrari for a routine traffic stop and advised the photographer (who was on foot) to move back. Ironically, Bieber wasn't even in the car—two friends were driving it. Fuck. [TMZ]
Sofia Vergara's fiancé Nick Loeb continued his tour of general douchebaggery into the New Year: he was thrown out of Story, the Miami club where he and Vergara were spending NYE, after getting into a fight with some people at a nearby table. He was chucked out the back door by security. Vergara followed, her dress ripped. You guys ever notice her dress is always ripping? [Page Six]
The tabloids Metro and Grazia claim that Katie Holmes and Jake Gyllenhaal are secretly shtupping after being introduced by Joshua Jackson. "Friends allege the former Mrs Cruise has been slinking over to Jake's West Village apartment in New York for dinners." While I would love to believe that Joey Potter and Donnie Darko spend every Thursday feeding each other salmon croquettes in front of a roaring fire, Gossip Cop says that the story is fabricated. [Gossip Cop]
Rob Kardashian, who klearly fancies himself the klassiest of the Kardashi-clan, is pretty judgmental about Kim and Kourtney.
"I'm so proud of my sisters, but I'll be married before I have a baby," Rob said while hosting the CIROC Vodka New Year's Eve countdown at STK Miami on Monday.
Oh, shut up.
- More people are purchasing the Kim Kardashian/Ray J fuckfilm now that she is with child. [TMZ]
- Also, the two reportedly conceived "near the Vatican." [TMZ]
- P!nk has a $36k lawsuit (lawsu!t) filed against her regarding royalties from her first album in 1999. [TMZ]
- Jay-Z helped score The Great Gatsby. [Rapfix]
- Jenny McCarthy kissed a sailor who had a cold sore/maybe herpes on NYE. [Hyper Vocal]
- Meanwhile Kings of Leon played at an exclusive NYE concert for a Russian billionaire in St. Barts. Gossip Girl was toooootally there. [SFGate]
- Kelly Osbourne is thin now but she is upset that people still assume she's overweight. [Entertainmentwise]
- Psy's entourage was perhaps "too intense" at his performance in Times Square on NYE. [Page Six]
- The Internet will explode if this single from Lady Gaga, Beyoncé, Rihanna and Azalea Banks actually happens. [FameuxKills]
- Madonna's not that good of a skier, but neither am I, so, like, "people." [NYDN]
- American Idol winner Kris Allen and his pregnant wife Katy were in a head-on car crash on New Year's Day, but everyone came out reasonably OK—Allen just has a broken arm. [Radar Online]
- Will Arnett and Amy Poehler are "still good friends" and yet :-||||| [NYDN]
- Snooki got her teeth fixed and a new tattoo of a leopard ("to me it represents being a strong independent woman"). [The Hollywood Gossip]