Please Do Not Hire A Manners Coach for Your Spoiled ChildS

DO: teach your kid basic table manners. DON'T: employ a kid-friendly Henry Higgins to teach little Madison to differentiate between salad and dinner forks.

UNLESS: you are being interviewed for an New York Times styles section piece. Then, by all means, tell us all about how 6-year-old Joaquin and 4-year-old Sisto (SISTO.) have such impeccable table manners that they pass muster at San Francisco's Chenery Park restaurant, which allows well-behaved children to eat expensive salmon, from what I've gathered. Or here, let Joaquin set the scene:

"This is a place where you come to eat," the boy says softly, explaining nice manners. "It's not a place to play."

("I see dead people," he continued in a whisper, as goose bumps peppered the skin visible below his cufflinks.)

The crux of this piece is that parents are too busy looking at their iPhones to teach kids table manners and so therefore outsource their parenting. But that is not only outrageously expensive; it's dumb, too. Some coaches told the paper that "The casual nature of the home makes it difficult" for kids to remember what they've learned when they're back amongst the cretins they call parents, eating dinner in front of the television.

So how about just teaching your kids to be polite home-school style? Hey, it's easier than cursive!

[New York Times

Image via Firma V/Shutterstock.