Flaccid Boehner Pulls Out of Plan BLast night, perennially bronzed Speaker of the House John Boehner was forced to abandon "Plan B," his "solution" to the "fiscal cliff," after failing to get enough Republican support to bring it to a vote. Ouch. Kinda embarrassing. But what was Plan B? And what is the significance of its failure? When I saw first saw that Plan B was all over the Twitter and the interwebs, I assumed everyone was talking about emergency contraception. Turns out, in an attempt to avoid automatic tax hikes scheduled to take effect on Jan. 1, Boehner was proposing extending current tax rates for all Americans earning up to $1 million annually, as opposed to Obama's income cut-off of $400,000. At first glance, it seems that the two Plan B's have very little in common. Yet a closer examination reveals significant overlap.

Emergency Contraception Plan B// Emergency Negotiation Plan B
The result, in part, of a bonerThe creation, in part, of Boehner
Enables you to screw people without reproducing.Enables you to screw people without producing jobs; eliminates Child Tax Credit (CTC), and the American Opportunity Tax Credit (AOTC) for college expenses.
Affects womenAffects women, who would suffer 2/3 of the losses if such programs were cut
Doesn't protect you from dangers such STDsDoesn't protect you from dangers such trickle-down economics and spending cuts
Is divisive and controversialIs divisive and controversial: the Democrats hated it and Obama had said he'd veto it. Conservatives to the right of Boehner didn't like it either.
Is riskier than preventative measuresIs riskier than preventative measures like government spending
May cause nausea, vomiting, stomach pain, dizziness, and diarrheaMay cause nausea, vomiting, stomach pain, dizziness, and diarrhea