Celebrity Trainer Tracy Anderson Insists Gwyneth Paltrow Was Totally Flabby When They MetS

Celebrity fitness guru Tracy Anderson believes that she is a genius who has singularly revolutionized the fitness industry because she practically invented exercise; that her method of "spot-reduction" is so great it defies the science that disproves its effectiveness; and that Gwyneth Paltrow used to be fat until she began working with her in 2006.

Or at least, that's the way that she comes off in a new interview in The New York Times. The piece hilariously opens with Anderson freaking out with excitement over a shiny object—literally bouncing up and down—only to instantly snap into a foul mood something reminded her of some former employees (the uncertified trainers she hired to work in her gyms based on their "hotness") who she says ripped off her routines and stole her clients.

"It makes me sad for humanity, actually, that people would take all my hard work and then pose like they have a method that they have tried and tested," she said of her former employees, becoming so angry she struggled for words. "They're not even lip-syncing what I do. They're, like, karaokeing off my songs."

But, Anderson says that she and Paltrow, as businesswomen, are "really smart like Coca-Cola" so they aren't that threatened by competition. So does that mean that her former employees are Pepsi? Because Pepsi does pretty well and gives Coca-Cola a run for its money.

She also preaches her theories on why her fitness method works, saying things like "proprioception perception," "strength of synapses" and "muscle confusion" that make you think she actually knows what she's talking about when she says that she can make you smaller just in the places that you want, even though experts regard that as a myth, with science proving that you can't actually choose where you lose weight—organically, anyway—in your body.

The idea of Anderson being a charlatan has been flitting around in the media since she first rose to prominence. She's had some serious financial issues, and at one time promoted a super-shady baby food diet that she later denied ever having advocated, even though there was plenty of very public evidence to the contrary.

Maybe people wouldn't question Anderson's methods as much if she actually truly transformed a real person's out-of-shape body into her idea of physical perfection. Instead, she's known mostly for her work with Gwyneth Paltrow, a woman who has been infamously waif-ishly thin, so much so, that putting her in a fat suit in the movie Shallow Hal was the entire punch line of the movie.

Celebrity Trainer Tracy Anderson Insists Gwyneth Paltrow Was Totally Flabby When They MetS

Still, Anderson insists that Paltrow was fat, and is kind of a bitch about it.

"She hid her problem areas so well before me that I'm like, ‘I really wish your naked butt was everywhere before me and after me.' "

In the January issue of Redbook—of which Paltrow and Anderson grace the cover—Paltrow recalls the first time the pair met:

"She pulled my pants off…I'll never forget it. She was like, 'Oh, my God, wow, I am just so surprised, because you look so good in clothes. I wasn't expecting this."

But Anderson apparently knows that she seems like a total whack job, telling the Times that it's "part of trying to create progress; you get called crazy, like any inventor."

Anderson, who just released a workout DVD to make children 10 and up "teeny tiny," ends the interview with a humble brag, "But the nice thing is, any time I'm testing on someone the bargain is that don't worry, whatever happens to you I can undo. I hate to say it, it's my gift."

High Energy Is Part of the Package [NYT]