Happy Holidays: Man Sets Fire to Denny's Christmas Tree Because His Check Took Too LongS

When you want your Rootie Tootie Fresh and Fruity, you want it NOW. Such was the lesson that a Denny's in San Antonio learned when an unhappy customer set fire to their Christmas tree and peaced out on a cold winter's night.

The guy, who was upset because his check was taking too long, pulled what I can only (poorly) describe as a Polar Express Opposite of Santa Claus and lit that thing up like so many Friday Night Lights. Sorry, FNL and Waco are the only two things I know about Texas — oh, and Austin has really great vegan nachos.

According to Huffington Post, the fire didn't hurt anyone but allegedly caused $150,000 in damage. Police are pursuing the xmas arsonist, with the help of Denny's brave surveillance footage, but haven't yet been able to identify him. Godspeed, Denny's.