When you want your Rootie Tootie Fresh and Fruity, you want it NOW. Such was the lesson that a Denny's in San Antonio learned when an unhappy customer set fire to their Christmas tree and peaced out on a cold winter's night.

The guy, who was upset because his check was taking too long, pulled what I can only (poorly) describe as a Polar Express Opposite of Santa Claus and lit that thing up like so many Friday Night Lights. Sorry, FNL and Waco are the only two things I know about Texas — oh, and Austin has really great vegan nachos.


According to Huffington Post, the fire didn't hurt anyone but allegedly caused $150,000 in damage. Police are pursuing the xmas arsonist, with the help of Denny's brave surveillance footage, but haven't yet been able to identify him. Godspeed, Denny's.